Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

Are You Missing Your Opportunity For Love?

by | Nov 6, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Gratitude, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have “high standards” or “unrealistic expectations?”

Just think about that for a minute…. 

This is a HOT topic that we get asked questions about all the time because it can be confusing. We can trick ourselves into thinking we have high standards, when what we really have are unrealistic expectations that are leading to missed opportunities, heartache in relationships, and unnecessary drama. 

And men don’t like drama! 😉 

So… what’s the difference?

And how can you be sure you know where you are coming from? 

Standards

Standards are aligned with your values. They are based on your beliefs, they are good for your life, and protect you from unnecessary harm and heartache. 

Having standards in dating looks like not dating someone that does drugs or is addicted to alcohol. It also looks like dating someone who has integrity and does what he says he’ll do.

Standards come from inside of you. 

Expectations

Expectations are things that you are “requiring” from someone else and are usually based on a “list” of criteria that you think a person should meet. They are preferences. 

Expectations in dating looks like not dating someone who hasn’t gotten a college education or who doesn’t happen to be an entrepreneur. It looks like not dating someone who has/hasn’t been married before or who does/doesn’t already have kids. It also looks like not dating someone who’s an introvert or who isn’t over 6 feet tall. 

In relationships, it looks like not appreciating the things your man does for you or always making him feel like he has to be a certain way. It looks like expecting your man to love you no matter how you behave, even when you’. 

Expectations are something you’re looking for out there. They have nothing to do with who a person actually is, and everything to do with what you’ve made up about what certain things mean about them. 

Expectations come from fear.

They come from what we saw as a child, what we’ve experienced in other relationships, or from an irrational or imagined fear. 

So, think about it again… in your relationships, and dating are you coming from a set of standards or are you coming from a set of expectations?

How is that affecting your experience of love and relationships?

What is it costing you to have those unrealistic expectations of others?

What are you afraid is/isn’t going to happen if you don’t stick to your expectations? 

We get it. We have both experienced this on both sides of the equation. 

When Michelle was dating after her divorce, she was desperately trying to prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d experienced a lot of hurt in her past relationship and wasn’t going to go there again. So, she set expectations. He had to be older, he had to be established in his career, and he also had to be divorced with kids so he’d understand how she felt. 

She set these expectations thinking she was just doing what was best for herself, but she was protecting and not allowing herself to actually  be and get to know the men she was with, which led to a terrible dating experience! 

If she’d stayed committed to those preferences, she would have missed out on being married to the amazing man she’s married to today, because he – who was younger, was in transition between careers, had never been married, or had kids – wouldn’t have even shown up on her radar, because he didn’t meet all of those requirements.  

For me, I remember experiencing this in my marriage. By thinking that my way was the right way, I was constantly making my husband feel like he wasn’t enough. And, while the words, “You’re not enough” NEVER came out of my mouth and I truly thought I was communicating well and just trying to make him better,  it left him feeling unhappy, unsure of himself, and disrespected. 

It makes me emotional just thinking about how I made the man that I love more than anything, and who  I promised to love no matter what, feel any of those things. 

Now, what about you?

What are you currently experiencing in dating and in your relationships? And what do you WANT to experience?

If through reading, you’ve realized that maybe you’re coming more from expectations, it’s okay! You just need to look at that and ask yourself what’s the fear underneath it all that is stopping you from having the experience you want in relationships.

Because once you get to the bottom of the fear, you can start to build up from there. 

During our Love Chat with the Love Twins this week, one of our past clients said this :

“Please listen to the Love Twins! Once I got rid of the superficial requirements for a man…like height, hair and even education!! I concentrated on how do i feel… and I found a man who treats me like a Queen. Thank you Gladys and Michelle your HeartWork… it works!”

We want you to experience the relationship of your dreams. To wake up every morning next to the person you love and who loves you in return.

Don’t let your expectations keep you from having that. Because the person you end up with might surprise you and that surprise will be the best gift you give yourself, IF you allow it to be!

(photo credit: https://onlineforlove.com/)

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

by | Sep 26, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, heartache, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. 

Think about that for a minute. 

What small choices have you made today at work that are impacting your love life?

What are the reasons and excuses you use to put things off, not go after what you really want, and things that you tell yourself about your health, career, or finances to make yourself feel better about not having the loving, passionate lifelong relationship you really want?

There’s a “BIG TRAP” that way too many women fall into that actually sabotages them from having the highest levels of love, success and happiness that are available to them.

What’s “The BIG TRAP”?: It’s the “either/or” conversation. 

It sounds something like:

I need to focus on my business/career right now.

I have to put my kids first.

I need to get my finances in order before I start dating.

I need to _____ (lose weight, finish school, start my business… you can fill in your own blank) before I can make my love life a priority.

What you’re really saying is:

I can either be a great mom OR have a thriving career. 

I can either focus on losing weight OR dating. 

I can either focus on school OR on building my relationship. 

The fact is, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!!

Anytime you are in an “Either/O” conversation, you are in a full-blown scarcity conversation and you’re letting your fears choose for you. 

Whenever you’re thinking that you can’t have everything you desire, you’re actually stopping yourself from making your dreams come true.  You’re not letting your commitment choose for you, heck, you’re not even letting your reality choose for you. You’re allowing your fear run you and your life. 

What if YOU could choose what you want, instead? 

What if you believed that YOU were powerful enough to create and have EVERYTHING you desire right NOW? 

I know you think you’re choosing when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re simply being responsible or honorable, or that it’s what you should do when you’re choosing to put your dreams to the side. 

But, honestly, who’s really telling you that? 

The #1, most important, longest-lasting and most intimate relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. And, just how is that relationship every going to be a loving, fulfilling one if you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t have what you want? 

Think about it this way:

Do you want to be with a partner that’s constantly telling you what you can and can’t do, that you shouldn’t go for what you really want, that what you want isn’t possible, , that it’s not the right time for you to make your dreams come true, and that you’re being “irresponsible” when you are simply following the desires of your heart 

I don’t think so! 

I doubt it!

So, if you don’t want to be with a partner who’s always telling you that, then it’s time to stop telling yourself that.

You can be responsible AND invest in your love life.

You can be responsible AND follow your dreams.

You can create a permanent state of abundance AND love AND success. 

But you can’t do it alone. 

Why are we such a stand for this, and why can we say this so confidently? Because we are living it!! 

This isn’t hoping, wishing, “theory” or positive thinking. 

This is OUR LIFE.  And it’s the life of the thousands of women who we help create the lasting loving relationships AND the abundant, successful lives their hearts desires.

It’s sooooo important that you are selective about who you allow to whisper in your ear and tell you what is possible and how to create the life and love you want.

Let someone who’s got the mindset, the leadership, the skills AND the results that you want to be the one whispering (and, sometimes, yelling) in your ear.

Start living your life from a place of COMMITMENT to creating and living the life and love you want right now!

We know this kind of straight-forward truth isn’t for everyone.

Some people who started reading this email having gotten this far.  They either closed the email, hit “reply” to tell us off, or are judging us in some way.

We. Don’t. Care.

Our commitment to women finally getting themselves out of this “Either/Or Trap” and creating the kind of loving relationships they have always dreamed of is BIGGER than our fear that you may be getting triggered because you don’t like what we’re saying.

But, if you’re the kind of woman who is willing to feel uncomfortable and do what it takes to break through whatever it is that has been standing in the way of you having the love you want, then we invite you to book a call with us.

See, the doors to our programs are closing.  After that you’ll have to wait another year – a whole other year of not having the love, romance, passion, and happiness you deserve and say you want. You simply need to know what to stop doing and what to start doing differently so that you can create that relationship with ease and SPEED.

Our programs are by invitation-only.  You can’t find out about them online. 

It’s only by having a conversation with one of our team members that we can decide whether working with us is your next best step.

If it is, we’ll make an invitation and tell you about it. If it’s not, we’ll be honest and make some recommendations we feel will help you get the results you want.

So, if you’re still reading and you want to finally stop wasting time, energy, and hope on relationships that just don’t work, book a call and see if working with us a good fit. Tell your fears to shut up and tell your dreams that they’re worth it. 

Because, remember how we said that how you do one thing is how you do everything?

If you’re not booking a call to see if we can support you with your relationship goals, then notice you are honoring your fears (and how this isn’t the only place in your life where they are running the show). It’s just that simple.

Where do you want to go? What’s getting in the way? Why are you having the same conversations over and over and nothing changes? 

Be resourceful. Pull yourself forward. Honor yourself. Book a call. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here 

This is your life. This is your dream. Fight for it!

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

by | Sep 13, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized

by Gladys Diaz 

How you relate to yourself is how you relate to the world. 

Do you feel like you are “too much” of something? Or maybe you feel the opposite and feel that you’re “not enough.” 

Do you feel like you’re too successful or too independent. Maybe you think you’re too skinny or too emotional or too old.

Or, like I said, maybe your limiting beliefs show up as “not enough” statements. Maybe you think you’re not confident enough or not athletic enough or not worthy enough to attract the relationship and the love that you want. 

When I was single, I had a belief that maybe I was going to be successful at everything in life EXCEPT love. I was so confused as to why I was having so much success in other areas of my life, receiving promotion after promotion at work, and still it seemed there wasn’t a man on the planet that wanted to commit to me. 

I made it mean that there was something wrong with me. I truly believed that I wasn’t enough. How did that show up for me? I over-compensated for it. I showed up as over-competent, uber-confident, and always looked like I was super put together. 

The truth was that then I would go home and cry at night because, even though I was overcompensating for my belief, it was still there, and no amount of covering it up could replace the heartache, discouragement and frustration. 

Until…  I started doing something about it. I dug in to discover where this belief came from. And what did I uncover? 

A memory from the 5th grade where a group of popular girls were talking in a circle and I overheard them talking about me. I remembered hearing them saying that I was too skinny and flat-chested. I also heard them say that they couldn’t believe I didn’t realize I was smelly. Even after I walked up to the circle, they still kept talking about me! As a 10-year old it really hurt my feelings! After that experience, I made up the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I was never going to be a part of the in-crowd, and that people didn’t like me.

And then, 25 years later, there I was still carrying that belief around like it owned me.  I was overcompensating for that belief and not getting the results that I wanted, all because I believed so deeply that something was wrong with me and that a man was never going to love me. 

Are you doing the same thing? 

Are you walking around with a limiting belief that is running you?

How do you compensate for your beliefs?

What would you give to change them so that you can start experiencing the love that you desire? 

If how you relate to yourself is how others relate to you, then, in order to change the way others relate to you, you must first begin with yourself. 

How to Change a Limiting Belief: 

  1. Distinguish What Your Limiting Belief Is. 

What are your limiting beliefs? What do you tell yourself about yourself when you feel fearful or uncertain? Get clear on what is the fundamental belief that the rest of them  stem from. 

  1. Dismantle the Limiting Belief. 

Where did this belief come from? When did you make it up?

Get responsible to the fact that YOU created the belief, and, if you created it, then you can change it. Uncover how the belief is playing out. How is it showing up? How are you compensating? How is it affecting your life, your work, your relationships? 

  1. Replace the Limiting Belief With a Truth that is Authentic to You.

Start training your brain with a new truth. However, if your limiting belief is “I’m not enough” then don’t just make your New Truth the opposite of “I’m enough.” Really get clear on the characteristics that make you enough and claim them.

When I finally started to turn my beliefs around, I began saying that I was beautiful, extraordinary, and amazing. Then I took on BEing those things! I began BEing those characteristics and began to believe that, as I was BEing those things, I had the power to call in someone who was just as beautiful and extraordinary and amazing as me.

I did. 

And, so can you. 

If you’d like to learn even more about how to really change your mindset, the one that is telling you that dating is hard and that love’s not going to happen for you, join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening THIS weekend – September 13th and 14th – in Miami, FL. We will be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, HeartWork that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you are experiencing.  And we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

 Learn More Here

 

Dating doesn’t have to be hard. But your limiting beliefs may be making it hard for you. Let us help you learn the skills to make it fun and easy. 

 

Not local? Schedule time to speak with our team and get ready to have the love you want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

by | Nov 11, 2018 | Coaching, Dating, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

I know it’s frustrating…

You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.

You go out and have an amazing time.

You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.

He asks you out on another date… and then another.

Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…

You stop going on line.

You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)

You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)

Then…

Crickets.

And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.

I get it.

It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.

And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.

The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.

The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”

Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.

Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.

Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.

The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.

When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.

This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.

This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.

The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.

Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.

Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.

He doesn’t have to ask you out.

And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.

You’re NOT in a relationship.

He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.

Which is why we recommend you do the same!

Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.

You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).

What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.

The benefit?

  • You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
  • You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
  • You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
  • And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.

Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!

If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.

I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

 

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

by | Sep 8, 2018 | Dating, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz Is your life telling you something? If you want to know, just look at your past and your present. The lessons we most need tend to repeat themselves until they are finally learned! And, if you want to know where the patterns of your life begin, just notice your thoughts. The average human being has between 12,000 and 60,000 each day! Unfortunately, 80% of those thoughts are negative and 95% of them are the same exact thoughts you had the day before (and sometimes decades before!). So, if 80% of your thoughts about dating, love, relationships, or your partner are negative, then is it any wonder why you don’t have the kind of loving relationship you desire? Now, before you start beating yourself up (or deleting this email) because of that last sentence, hear me out. I know you’re not intentionally choosing to block love from your life. A lot of these pervasive and repetitive thoughts are happening subconsciously. Think about how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. Although you know that eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV or procrastinating working on a big project, or not organizing your receipts before tax season are all things that will eventually have a negative consequence, you still eat the chips, spend hours on social media, and telling yourself that you’ll organize those receipts tomorrow. Or, even though you know that sleeping with a guy too soon rarely turns into a solid, committed relationship and that you’re going to feel hurt, used, and disappointed (again) if you sleep with him, you tell yourself that “This time might be different.” You put aside your boundaries and values for a few moments of pleasure, even thought you know things are probably going to turn out the same way again. Another example is holding onto a relationship you know is not going anywhere or that is simply not right for you.  Even all the signs are pointing to “This is not it,” you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t. Why do you do that? Because the human brain is a creature of habit and you will hold on to what you know – what’s familiar – even though you know it’s stopping you from having the kind of loving relationship and life you really want. So, the negative consequences reinforce the negative thought patterns, until you start relating to them as “the truth, and eventually find yourself giving up on your dreams.   So, how do you break this vicious cycle? You learn how to transform your mind so that you can create new results. You learn how to completely break apart those thought patterns and replace them with new ones – but not simply through “positive thinking” or “positive self-talk.” You learn how to truly go into your subconscious and uproot the thoughts that have been creating real barriers to you attracting and having the love you want. Listen to your life.  It’s telling you something. It has been for a while now. Stop ignoring the signs that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working for you. You can choose to continue repeating the same thoughts and actions and creating the same results. If you do, there’s a huge chance you’ll regret it and then wonder why things simply never worked out for you. Or you can choose to break through and break free from anything that’s standing between you and having the love you want. It’s only in letting go of the past that you can create space in your mind, life, and heart to welcome in new and extraordinary love. As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” You can have the love you want. You simply have to let go of what hasn’t worked so that you can have what your heart most desires. Are you ready to let go of what isn’t working so that you can have the love you want? If so, click below and schedule time to talk with one of us. We will help you identify what your major Love Barriers have been and give you a step-by-step plan for letting them go so that you can have the love you want! Click to talk with one of us!        
It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

It’s Time to LET GO of Your Past Relationship!

by | Jul 17, 2018 | breakups, Dating, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…

Are you still holding onto a past relationship?

The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.

She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.

Now, I want you to know.  This is not a “weak woman.”

She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.

Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.

The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.

The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.

So, you throw yourself into your work.

You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.

You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.

Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.

You try not to feel.

There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.

However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.

If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.

CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.

On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go process, determine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.

It’s time to let go.  You know it inside.  And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.

The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you.  Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!

 

Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go.  If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!