How to Be Someone to Be Admired

How to Be Someone to Be Admired

by | Jun 12, 2020 | Dating, Gratitude, Heart's Desire International, Love, Self-Love, Success, Successful Women

by Gladys Diaz 

Who’s someone you really admire? 

Someone you look up to? Someone who’s made a difference for you?

Who would you  like to be more like? 

What characteristics do they have that you admire? 

Do they show integrity? Are they authentic and real?
Maybe they have high energy that’s contagious.
Are they loving and generous?
Are they dignified and show grace under fire? 

Take Oprah, for example. There is just such an amazing way that she exemplifies grace under fire. She is compassionate while being rigorous. She is kind while being strong. She speaks up and takes a stand without being reactive. She is dignified.

Those are just a few of the things that we look up to in women. 

How about you? 

Oftentimes, we recognize things in others that we’d like to develop more of in ourselves. 

Whether you’re in a relationship or dating, it’s essential to be self-aware. To be able to recognize the places within yourself that are your opportunities for growth.  

We say, “opportunities for growth,” because it’s not that you’re doing anything wrong or that you’re trying to be something you’re not. One of the biggest sources of stress in dating and relationships comes from being inauthentic or trying to be someone you’re not. 

We say “opportunities for growth,” because recognizing the areas in which you’d like to develop are opportunities for higher levels of self-esteem, confidence and more desired experiences. 

And all of those things are highly attractive, right?

It’s like that awesome quote by Sophia Bush says:

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” 

You can strive to develop yourself while also exercising self-love and grace and always striving to be your authentic best. 

So what are the ways of being you’d like to embody ?

Here are some ideas from our community: 

Confident

Real

Authentic

Good Listener

Forgiving

Genuine

Considerate

Respectful

Loving

Physically Fit

Graceful

Honest

Gentle

Integrity

A finisher

Committed

Disciplined

Focused

Owning a State of Ease

Sense of Humor

Smart

Generous

Grit

Humble

Solution Oriented

And those are just a start! 

What is it for you? 

Choose two ways of being that would make the biggest difference for you and for those around you that you can focus on embodying this week. 

And remember to make it fun!

There is a natural human desire to grow. There’s so much fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from recognizing your growth opportunities and doing something about them!

If you’d like help recognizing what some of those opportunities are for you, book a Love Breakthrough Call. That’s what we’re here for!

Sometimes, the thing holding us back is in our blind spot, and all it takes is someone to lovingly point it out, help us remove it and replace it with something else that makes all the difference.  

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

We look forward to hearing the ways in which you’re stretching yourself this week!

YOU can be the woman you most admire when you BE the love you want to see!

How to Be Part of the Solution

How to Be Part of the Solution

by | Jun 8, 2020 | Coaching, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Today our message is a unique one. 

The past week has brought much heartache to our country and around the world. 

Massive amounts of fear are circulating – mixed with the emotions of frustration, anger and sadness. And all are understandable.

We aren’t pretending to know exactly what our People of Color (POC) brothers and sisters are experiencing. However, we do know that our hearts are feeling compassion, empathy and heartbreak for what is happening around us. 

You know our stand is love, and we want nothing more than to be part of the solution at this time. Our intention is to create connection, to listen, and to extend compassion and empathy to all. 

I read a quote from Elie Wiesel this week that deeply touched me. He says:

“We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.” 

This is why now is not the time to say, “All lives matter.” 

Do all lives matter? Absolutely! But in this moment, RIGHT NOW, it’s the time to take a stand for the injustice against black people that has gone on long enough in our country. 

If you’re feeling anger by what others are saying or doing – feel your feelings. They are not bad or wrong and are completely understandable. Your feelings are your right and it’s important that you process them! 

After the feelings are processed is when you can then communicate powerfully and clearly so that people can hear what you’re saying. 

And, to be clear, we realize that rioting is happening, and we want to distinguish between “protests” and “riots,” and know that some people are collapsing the two.

Protests give people an opportunity to take a stand and join with others so that they have one voice. Riots, on the other hand, involve damaging people and property.

Now is the time to ask yourself: How can I be part of the solution? 

 

    • Listen to what is being shared. Just listen.
    • Ask questions, don’t assume. Seek to understand what is needed.
    • Educate yourself so that you gain more confidence in your ability to move forward in this. 
    • Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, take a step back and ask: “What would have someone be/react that way?”  
    • Write your Legislators!
    • Call and let your local Police Department know your stance. 
    • Take a stand for something.

What we can’t do is ignore what’s happening or wait for someone else to provide the solution. 

This is only going to get resolved when everyone comes together! 

This is our world, our community, and we get to take a stand for what we believe in. 

Our stand is unity and love. 

We may not get it right, but we are not going to stay silent. 

How about you? 

You can watch the Love Chat with the Love Twins covering this topic HERE. Click to watch!

Below you will find some of the resources we have been reading and using to help us create a better understanding of how we can be part of the solution.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

by | Apr 24, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Should I stay or should I go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? 

If you’re asking yourself that, maybe a better question is: “Why am I staying?” 

Maybe he’s not showing up the way he used to. 

Maybe you’re not comfortable in the relationship and can’t be yourself. 

Maybe there’s a lot of drama in the relationship and it’s exhausting. 

Maybe it’s been this way for a long time and you know your life is passing you by. 

Why…? 

And by the way… this conversation doesn’t just exist when talking about relationships.

This conversation about being unclear or feeling “stuck” is relevant to just about any area of your life. 

Maybe you’re staying in a job you don’t like and that’s not fulfilling. 

Maybe your house doesn’t light you up or create the feeling of home. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your business or a friendship.

Where in your life are you just surviving? 

Where are you settling for less than you desire?

People stay in situations that are less than what they want because of FEAR. Fear of not knowing what the alternative will be like, if it will work out, and if they can handle it. 

Staying comfortable in something less than desirable feels better (or seems safer) than the risk of stepping outside of your comfort zone to create something different.

Can you relate? 

I know it was that way for me. I was married for over 12 years and at least the last three or four years of that relationship were spent knowing it wasn’t going to get any better. Did you hear me… four years!! I had major doubt that I could do it on my own, that I had what it took to leave and create something better. 

At that time in my life I was doing the same exact thing in my professional life. I was in a job that I hated. But I had a false sense of safety and wasn’t doing anything about it out of fear. 

Sound familiar? 

So… should you stay or should you go? 

First of all, if you are in a situation where you are in danger, where you experience moments of being afraid in your relationship, then there’s no question. You should go. 

No woman should ever be in a situation where she feels afraid. If that’s you, please reach out for support. 

Secondly, if you’re waiting for someone else to do something, or if you feel like you just can’t take the way things are for one more day, then it’s time to ask yourself, ”Why am I staying?”

The thing is this, most of the time, love is not what’s in question. 

We hear stories from so many women and the first answer is always “Because I love him” or “Because we love each other.” 

You can 100% feel that you love someone and not be in a relationship that is healthy, going somewhere, or what you really desire. 

What’s really in question is whether you love yourself.

Do you love yourself enough to have what you desire? 

And if you’re not clear on what you desire, do you love yourself enough to get crystal-clear about it so that you can find the courage to step out of what you’re settling for and open up the space for what you really want? 

After my divorce, and after I finally did the Heartwork to learn how to love myself, I was clear that I didn’t ever again want to be with someone that wasn’t 100% sure they wanted to be with me. When I finally created that clarity for myself, everything changed. 

Now for the question of whether you should stay. 

You should stay if you feel safe and if you have a desire to make things work. Even if right now, you’re the only one saying she wants it to work, there needs to be a desire to change things.

We’ve worked with women  who have completely redesigned their relationships. They have done the work on themselves in order to experience the relationship differently and create the relationship of their dreams inside the relationship they are already in.  

So, if you find yourself in the question of whether you should stay or go, then the time is now to take action. No amount of complaining, talking about it, or hoping that it’s going to change on its own is going to change anything. You have to take committed action! 

This is why we’re  so excited to be inviting you to the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass, happening tomorrow, Saturday, April 25th at 12pm Eastern! 

You will get training and coaching on your mindset, dating leadership coaching, ways of being, as well as relationship coaching, so that you can either step out or step further into the relationship you’re in to create the relationship of your dreams. 

Grab your spot for the Extraordinary Love NOW Masterclass here!

In the search for love, YOU get to choose! 

As you empower yourself with the right tools, you gain the power to create the relationship you really want and deserve.  

We’re here for you! 

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

If You’re Not Growing, You’re Choosing To Stay Stuck

by | Mar 27, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

“I’m having a hard time sleeping at night.” 

“Focusing during the day feels nearly impossible.” 

“I feel unsettled.” 

“I feel helpless and powerless.” 

These are some of the things we’ve been hearing from women this week. 

Have you been feeling at all similar? 

With what feels like our whole world turned upside down over the last couple of weeks, we want you to know that we are right there with you. We’re living in the same world as you, experiencing the same situations and circumstances that the rest of the world and country are dealing with at this time. 

You truly are not alone.

And, although we may not have much control over our situation or circumstance right now, the thing we do have control over is how we choose to deal with it. 

There is no better time than right now to master your mindset! 

What does that look like? 

  1. Feel what you need to feel. Mastering your mindset doesn’t look like brushing things under the rug or pretending you don’t feel the way you feel. Acknowledge where you’re at and allow yourself to be there for a minute… Just don’t stay there.
  2. Shift. Ask yourself “What I do so that  I can deal with this in an empowered way?”

For example, maybe you’re feeling like dating is out the window right now. Maybe you’re using COVID-19 as a distraction to stop you from moving forward. Or maybe you’re feeling depressed that you’re finally ready to date, and now you can’t leave your house. 

Did you know that, while 25% of Americans are staying inside their homes right now, Bumble has seen a 23% increase in Seattle and New York (two of the cities that have been hit the hardest and that are being ordered to stay inside).  And those numbers aren’t just reflecting swiping. These are people engaged in conversations. 

Men are saying that they have had such a hard time making the shift to online dating, because they were so afraid of not getting a response, and now it’s all there is, so they are being bolder! We are hearing the most fun stories from our clients who are getting creative with dating — having Facetime dates, grocery store dates, and picnics where they are keeping the 6-foot recommended distance — and moving forward with it anyways. 

Life is still happening. 

Even though we may be stuck inside and getting used to our new normal, life is still happening around us and we can choose to create the things we’ve always wanted now. 

The world is coming together right now. This is the most worldwide impactful event since WWII. 

Yes, there is uncertainty, and, where there is uncertainty, fear will be triggered. 

The thing is…. Humans are resilient.

There’s a reason why we’re still on this earth and dinosaurs aren’t! 

The human spirit has a natural instinct to adapt and keep moving forward, even under the hardest of circumstances. We feel a pull to keep growing and moving forward, no matter what. 

So, what are some things you can do to shift? 

For example, earlier this week, I was having a hard time focusing, so I went outside with my beach chair, a small table, my laptop, my Bible, and my books, and felt an immediate shift. 

I’ve been taking daily walks that I time precisely so that I can see the sunset.  It’s amazing how such simple things can make such a difference!

And, I’m immersing myself in books, videos, and audios that are focused on empowerment, prosperity, and faith!

Here are some ideas we’ve gotten  from women we’ve been speaking with: 

  • Go for a walk and pick some wildflowers from your neighborhood. 
  • Take extra time to practice self-care – do your own nails, give yourself a facial, light some candles and relax. 
  • Read all the books you never made time to read before! 
  • Pray and meditate. 
  • Listen to positive podcasts. 
  • Cook your favorite foods. 
  • Purge clothes and organize your house. 
  • Dance to your favorite music. 
  • Create a cozy space in your home you can escape to when you need some space. 

Many things may be cancelled, but life is not! 

Another thing that’s not cancelled is having meaningful conversations and connecting with others in creative ways. 

Neither are your dreams. You still get to have the life and love you’ve always wanted.  Don’t let fear or social distancing try to cheat you out of believing that!

If you’d like to talk about how this time can be an opportunity for you, instead of a block, let’s hop on a call and have a conversation about what you can do for yourself and for your dreams right now, regardless of what’s going on around you!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Our prayers for peace are with you. 

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by | Mar 6, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process? 

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave? 

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry? 

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment. 

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear. 

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears. 

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with  other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more? 

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced. 

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama. 

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance. 

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?  

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear. 

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship? 

  1. Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me?  – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned. 
  2. Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power. 
  3. Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for. 

And that’s when relationships started to get good. 

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work. 

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having  support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you? 

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Are You Being Used?

Are You Being Used?

by | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men? 

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear? 

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”? 

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships. 

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief. 

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

  • you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
  • you feel as if you’re being used for sex
  • you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
  • you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up? 

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience. 

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date. 

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.” 

So ask yourself – 

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating? 

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear? 

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here. 

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating… 

  1. Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself? 
  2. Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions? 
  3. Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
  4. Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return? 

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!  

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it. 

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely  in return. 

And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

 Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now