Heart's Desire Intl

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic.

These are all human emotions.

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.”

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away.

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions.

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting. The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up. Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them.

So how do you release toxic emotions?

1. Feel it.

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it.

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having?

Is it causing you to lash out?

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it?

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness?

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people?

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you?

Another place to look to how toxic emotions may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies.

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping? What is your body telling you?

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you?

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself: Where, energetically, am I in breakdown? “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it.

Once you’ve done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion. Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening, and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition.

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long. Instead, allow yourself to feel them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires.

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them. You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want. And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

You Get To Be Cherished.

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 6, 2019 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Michelle Roza

Do you want to be cherished?

I don’t know about you, but that word just brings all the feels!

To be cherished. What does that really mean?

Literally, the word cherish means to hold dear, to show affection for, to cultivate care, and to harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely.

Being cherished looks like being absolutely loved, cared for, and protected.

So how do you attract the man that will not only cherish you, but cherish you forever?

#1 – Believe You’re Worth It.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it forever, because it really is that important.

The reason why we say it over and over is because I don’t think any of us walk around consciously thinking that we aren’t worth it. But, when you stop and honestly look at what’s underneath, do you really know that you deserve to be cherished?

I know, for me, I remember when I didn’t believe.

On the surface, everything looked great, but, underneath, it wasn’t great at. Because I didn’t believe that I was worth it.

I never allowed myself to be seen by the men who I thought were really great. The high-quality, good character men, I just didn’t show up for. I always went one step below.

Because that’s what I felt like I deserved.

I felt so much shame about my divorce, about dating not working for me, and about being alone. I felt like my time was just about up to find love, and I was so desperate for love!

Can you relate?

It wasn’t until I did the HeartWork – the internal work to release, heal, and let go of the layers of fear, shame and heartache – that things started to shift.

I started to feel better FOR REAL, so that’s what started being reflected out in the world, and that’s what I began attracting.

I stopped attracting “not good”men and “not-good-for-me” men and started attracting those good guys that had the qualities that I desired

And I soon found Arnie.

The #1 thing you MUST do in order to find the partner that will cherish you forever is to believe that you are worth it.

#2 – Make Yourself a Priority

You must make yourself a priority if you expect anyone else to. And it’s not just about doing your nails and your hair and looking physically attractive. It’s also not about buying yourself more “stuff.”

Making yourself a priority is about spending time with yourself. Filling yourself up so that you aren’t looking to be filled by someone else.

We all have big lives and sometimes we can end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the pile – and that doesn’t help anyone.

Your way of being is the most attractive thing to a man (and everyone else). So make yourself a priority, so that you have light to give.

#3 – Honor Your Word

If you want a man that will cherish, respect, and love you, then YOU must cherish you and respect you and love you.

Honor your word.

If you say you will go to bed at 10:00, go to bed at 10:00.

If you say you’ll go to the gym at 7am, then get up and go to the gym at 7am.

If you tell your kids that bedtime is 9pm, then put them to bed at 9pm.

When you don’t honor your word, then others don’t know what they can count on your for. Worse than that, even YOU don’t know what you can count on yourself for. That breeds self-doubt, and it’s all downhill from there.

You will learn to not trust yourself, and you can’t trust a man if can’t trust yourself to choose the right man.

Stop living your life based on your feelings, because your feelings change! Start living your life by your commitments, saying “this WILL be” and then making sure it is so. Do that, and see what changes!

You see, it really does begin with you.

We may sound like a broken record, but it’s the absolute truth.

I was talking to a client the other day who just got married!!! I was remembering one of our first conversations when we uncovered her belief that there was something wrong with her because she was in her 50’s and had never been married. She believed that it would have been better to have been divorced 3 times than to be her age and have never been in a long-term relationship.

What a limiting belief! But can you relate?

Once we uncovered that limiting belief and she did her HeartWork, she started showing up in the world differently. She was smiling again. She felt good! And she was no longer on a timeline. She knew that she deserved it and that it was on it’s way to her.

She ended up attracting a man that she’d met decades before who came back into her life, and now they are happily married.

It is possible if you just believe.

So, if you really want to learn how you can start cherishing yourself and then attract the man that will cherish you forever then act NOW to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening this weekend!

Click here to grab your spot (only 2 left!)!

At this event, we’ll help you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for the love that your heart desires deeply, and the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience it in 2020!

There are only 2 spots left at this event, and we’d love one of them to be yours!

Remember: It’s not just about getting a man to ask you out. It’s about BEing the irresistible woman that he decides he can’t live without. That’s when all your dreams will become a reality!

It’s Possible For You Too.

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 4, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

One of the pillars of what we teach – something that’s absolutely fundamental to creating the passionate, intimate, connected, loving relationship that you desire – is having a crystal-clear vision of what you want.

And we mean crystal-clear. Not just kinda-sorta knowing what you want. Not just having a list of expectations of what your man must have. And not just having it written it down, but still not really believing that you can have it.

We’re talking about being able to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, AND believe that it will happen.

Without that level of clarity, you will settle for what you think you can get.

We hear it from clients all the time,

“What if this is the best I can do?”

“What if I let this one go and have to wait another 10 years?!”

“What if what I want is unrealistic?”

“What if it’s just not possible for me?”

I was talking with a client the other day who was telling me about the beautiful vision she has for love. It was a vision of fun and laughter and connection and joy. hen, in the middle of describing it to me, she stopped, and said, “I know, it sounds crazy. There’s no way this is possible. It’s too much”

Was she asking for a man with 5 hands? No.

Was she asking for a man that owned 5 islands? No.

Was she asking for a man with 17 eyes. No.

Now, that is unrealistic (and a little absurd)!

As we dug deeper, we discovered that a childhood (and lifetime) of feeling like there was never enough and that she was always asking for “too “was the reason she had this limiting belief. She realized what it was costing her to continue holding onto the belief that what she wanted was too much and not possible for her, and she decided that it was time to break through it NOW!

Desiring to have a relationship that is full of fun and laughter and connection and wonderful sex — none of that is too much. Everything about that is possible, AND it’s possible for you.

Creating that vision and the reality of creating it comes from clarity.

Clarity asks the questions:

“What do I want to experience in the relationship of my dreams?”

“What am I going to bring to the relationship so that I can experience that?”

“How can I BE the love that I want to see?”

Clarity is not about knowing what qualities you want your man to have. It’s about knowing what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, and then BEing those things.

BEing the respect you want to experience.

BEing the love you want to receive.

BEing the fun.

BEing the passion.

And what does BEing look like?

Taking action. But not just any kind of action.

It means taking the kind of action that is aligned with your vision.

Having all the faith and clarity in the world will get you absolutely nowhere without taking action.

A vision without action is nothing but a wish. And wishing is not a real strategy for getting what you want.

Which is why we want to invite you to our 2020 Love Vision Workshop, happening in just a few days. We’l lbe walking you through a deep process to help you actually physically experience the clarity you are seeking.

But it won’t stop there.

You will walk away from the event, not just with a crystal-clear vision, but with a PLAN to carry it out. With the actual steps to make it a reality.

Because it IS possible for you to create the love that you want in 2020.

Click here to learn how to manifest the relationship you want.

And, in case you’re thinking that 2 days can’t make a difference in what’s possible for you for 2020, I want to share this with you:

Let’s go back to Christmas of 1998. I had just lost my husband in September, and I felt like I was walking through a fog. The holidays seemed so empty without him. I felt alone, and it was hard.

Just one year later, Christmas 1999, I was in New York City but I wasn’t alone. I was celebrating Christmas with Ric and both of our mothers. I’ll never forget when he brought out my gift (a beautiful purse) and was fussing about how he hoped I would like it. When I opened it up, I found a beautiful, custom-made engagement ring inside! We’d talked about getting married, so that part wasn’t a surprise. But to have it happen then, on Christmas Eve, with our moms there with us, I was elated!!

SO much can change in just one year. The difference between Christmas 1998 and Christmas 1999 was just one year, but it was day and night for me!

Trust me when I say, everything you think can’t happen, but you dream might happen, CAN happen in just one year!

And it will, once you have the clarity and the action steps to create it.

Click here to manifest the love you want in 2020!

Are You Ready To Get Over It And Move On?

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 8, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Is your past keeping you from having the future you desire?

Are you unable to get over an ex, no matter what you do?

Are you so afraid of getting your heart broken like you did last time, that you’re stopping yourself from being available?

Are you scared that you’ll choose the wrong man yet AGAIN and end up brokenhearted and?

Do you see how these are all fears that are being triggered by something you experienced in the past?

If you don’t overcome your past, your past will be present in your present and impact your future. Which is a shame, because your past is not a predictor, it’s an informer.

What does that mean?

It means that, just because you chose an abusive man in the past, doesn’t mean you will do it again.

It means that just because your last boyfriend cheated on you and the relationship ended in massive heartache for you, doesn’t mean the next man will do this, too.

Your past experiences don’t determine what you will continue to experience IF you do the HeartWork to replace the fears that created them.

We all have fears. We are all humans walking around afraid of what someone else might do to us, worrying we may mess up, or that something might go wrong. Fear is part of the human condition. We can’t eliminate it, but we can learn to overpower it.

The trick is learning how to break through any patterns of fear and anxiety that are stopping you from living the life and creating the future you desire.

The crazy thing about fear is that the energy of fear is magnetic. When you are living in a space of fear around anything, you are energetically and subconsciously attracting that to you. This means that until you do the work to release the fear, you WILL continue to experience it.

So how do you release fear?

You can learn to release fear by going through our “In-the-Moment Fear Exercise. Trust us, making this exercise a practice you do all the time will change your life.

Moment of Fear Exercise

1. Recognize what got triggered inside of you.

Realize this: When you experience a fear, it isn’t you that got t triggered, something inside of you got triggered — a past experience, a fear, an anxiety that’s been developed over time. When that thing gets triggered, you can do 1 of 2 things.

You can…

a) Go into your automatic response of either blowing up or shutting down (it’s called fight or flight. We’re sure you’ve heard of it.)

b) STOP and recognize that something has been triggered and then move on to step 2 in the exercise.

Note: This acknowledgement happens in a split-second, so it does take some practice to gain the awareness to recognize the trigger in the moment.

2. Ask yourself: What just happened?

It’s important that you answer this question with only the facts about what actually happened, with no interpretation or analysis of the event(s) that just took place. It usually can be answered with as few as 3-10 words. Anything longer is a clue that you making what happened mean something.

3. Ask yourself: What did I make it mean?

What did you decide it meant when that guy you just went out with didn’t call the next day?

What did you make it mean when you saw your date going to the bathroom with his phone?

Did you create the idea that because he didn’t call you it means you’re not dateable?

Did you decide that because your date took his phone into the bathroom it meant he was texting another girl?

The majority of the time, whatever is upsetting you, robbing you of your peace, and/or causing you fear is not what actually happened. What’s upsetting you is whatever you made what mean — about him, you, them, it… everything!

4. Ask yourself: Is that what really happened?

Because our brain cannot tell the difference between what is actually happening and what we’re afraid might or might not be happening, this is the life-altering part of this exercise.

When you take what you made an experience mean and compare it to what actually happened, you start to see reality and the fear disappears.

Michelle was talking to a client the other day, and walking her through this exercise. A man had asked her what was wrong with her that she is in her 40’s and has never been in a long-term relationship. She made that experience mean that she is a failure in everything in her life, and that it’s never going to work for her.

As Michelle walked her through this exercise, she did what we all do: find ways to justify what we’ve made it mean. “But I haven’t been in a relationship, so I am a failure!” “My business isn’t working right now, and it never will!.

Michelle asked her, “Is ‘never’ happening right now?” “Does because it hasn’t’ worked mean it never will?”

Of course, the answer to these questions is “no,” and once she saw that, she started laughing and her desire to continue the journey in her business and dating was renewed.

What about you?

What do you want to experience in your life? What if you took this exercise and put it into action, practicing it over and over until you shifted what you are currently experiencing?

Overcoming your fears gives you POWER. It gives you absolute power to create anything you desire, in love and beyond.

Because we desire this for you, PLUS so much more, we have put together an incredible Pre-Black Friday offer that you can grab now! This Love Power Pack includes tickets to our 2020 Love Vision Live Event happening in December, as well as some swag to help you always remember that you are a fierce, feminine, and fabulous and that you have the power to create your love vision NOW.

Click here to learn more.

Have this be the last Christmas and New Years you spend alone? Come to this event and you may not even be alone this Christmas! How would that feel?

Don’t let your fears and your past stop you from creating the future you want, including the loving, passionate, extraordinary relationship your heart desires!

Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 26, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, heartache, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.

Think about that for a minute.

What small choices have you made today at work that are impacting your love life?

What are the reasons and excuses you use to put things off, not go after what you really want, and things that you tell yourself about your health, career, or finances to make yourself feel better about not having the loving, passionate lifelong relationship you really want?

There’s a “BIG TRAP” that way too many women fall into that actually sabotages them from having the highest levels of love, success and happiness that are available to them.

What’s “The BIG TRAP”?: It’s the “either/or” conversation.

It sounds something like:

I need to focus on my business/career right now.

I have to put my kids first.

I need to get my finances in order before I start dating.

I need to _____ (lose weight, finish school, start my business… you can fill in your own blank) before I can make my love life a priority.

What you’re really saying is:

I can either be a great mom OR have a thriving career.

I can either focus on losing weight OR dating.

I can either focus on school OR on building my relationship.

The fact is, NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!!

Anytime you are in an “Either/O” conversation, you are in a full-blown scarcity conversation and you’re letting your fears choose for you.

Whenever you’re thinking that you can’t have everything you desire, you’re actually stopping yourself from making your dreams come true. You’re not letting your commitment choose for you, heck, you’re not even letting your reality choose for you. You’re allowing your fear run you and your life.

What if YOU could choose what you want, instead?

What if you believed that YOU were powerful enough to create and have EVERYTHING you desire right NOW?

I know you think you’re choosing when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re simply being responsible or honorable, or that it’s what you should do when you’re choosing to put your dreams to the side.

But, honestly, who’s really telling you that?

The #1, most important, longest-lasting and most intimate relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. And, just how is that relationship every going to be a loving, fulfilling one if you’re constantly telling yourself that you can’t have what you want?

Think about it this way:

Do you want to be with a partner that’s constantly telling you what you can and can’t do, that you shouldn’t go for what you really want, that what you want isn’t possible, , that it’s not the right time for you to make your dreams come true, and that you’re being “irresponsible” when you are simply following the desires of your heart

I don’t think so!

I doubt it!

So, if you don’t want to be with a partner who’s always telling you that, then it’s time to stop telling yourself that.

You can be responsible AND invest in your love life.

You can be responsible AND follow your dreams.

You can create a permanent state of abundance AND love AND success.

But you can’t do it alone.

Why are we such a stand for this, and why can we say this so confidently? Because we are living it!!

This isn’t hoping, wishing, “theory” or positive thinking.

This is OUR LIFE. And it’s the life of the thousands of women who we help create the lasting loving relationships AND the abundant, successful lives their hearts desires.

It’s sooooo important that you are selective about who you allow to whisper in your ear and tell you what is possible and how to create the life and love you want.

Let someone who’s got the mindset, the leadership, the skills AND the results that you want to be the one whispering (and, sometimes, yelling) in your ear.

Start living your life from a place of COMMITMENT to creating and living the life and love you want right now!

We know this kind of straight-forward truth isn’t for everyone.

Some people who started reading this email having gotten this far. They either closed the email, hit “reply” to tell us off, or are judging us in some way.

We. Don’t. Care.

Our commitment to women finally getting themselves out of this “Either/Or Trap” and creating the kind of loving relationships they have always dreamed of is BIGGER than our fear that you may be getting triggered because you don’t like what we’re saying.

But, if you’re the kind of woman who is willing to feel uncomfortable and do what it takes to break through whatever it is that has been standing in the way of you having the love you want, then we invite you to book a call with us.

See, the doors to our programs are closing. After that you’ll have to wait another year – a whole other year of not having the love, romance, passion, and happiness you deserve and say you want. You simply need to know what to stop doing and what to start doing differently so that you can create that relationship with ease and SPEED.

Our programs are by invitation-only. You can’t find out about them online.

It’s only by having a conversation with one of our team members that we can decide whether working with us is your next best step.

If it is, we’ll make an invitation and tell you about it. If it’s not, we’ll be honest and make some recommendations we feel will help you get the results you want.

So, if you’re still reading and you want to finally stop wasting time, energy, and hope on relationships that just don’t work, book a call and see if working with us a good fit. Tell your fears to shut up and tell your dreams that they’re worth it.

Because, remember how we said that how you do one thing is how you do everything?

If you’re not booking a call to see if we can support you with your relationship goals, then notice you are honoring your fears (and how this isn’t the only place in your life where they are running the show). It’s just that simple.

Where do you want to go? What’s getting in the way? Why are you having the same conversations over and over and nothing changes?

Be resourceful. Pull yourself forward. Honor yourself. Book a call.

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here

This is your life. This is your dream. Fight for it!

How to Step Out of Fear and Into Your Power!

by heartsdesireintl | Sep 22, 2017 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

I have a quick question for you:

Have you ever felt helpless?

It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!

And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!

So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.

(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)

Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.

There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.

I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.

Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.

And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:

What do I do?
Have I done enough?

How long will this last?
Will we be okay?

What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.

You feel them during life’s storms, too.

When you’re going through a breakup…

When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…

When you see your relationship is falling apart…

Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.

So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?

1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety. Why? Because fear is always a “future experience.” While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.

What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought.

Now, hear me out on this. Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?

No.

What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment. Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.

The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.

So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.

This practice is life-changing.

Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you.

This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.

Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less!

As I said: Life-Changing!

2. Focus on what you CAN control. During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.

There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.

Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.

However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.

When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered. You are not at the mercy of the storm. Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.

3. Ask for and receive help. This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women. You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own. You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.

However, quite the opposite is true!

It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help. It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.

I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out. What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!

I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!

And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms!

You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.

You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.

You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”

And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what you really want.

There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.

Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.

Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”

What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.

What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.

I know what my choice is!

Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!

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