by heartsdesireintl | Nov 22, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Romance
by Gladys Diaz
Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of?
Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?
Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love.
If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back, but just seem to be stuck.
If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how.
The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t allow you to move forward.
And how else is it impacting you?
To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results.
What are you currently experiencing?
Are you going on dates or are you holding back?
If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process?
Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves?
Is there something wrong with every single person you go out with?
Are you not attracted to anyone?
Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?
No, you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then you may be holding onto someone from the past.
Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!
Sound familiar?
If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious.
Ask yourself,
What’s really going on here?
Why am I not feeling connection?
Why am I never attracted to anyone?
What’s really holding me back?
Get curious
You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…”
“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?”
“I wonder why I can’t let go?”
“I wonder what that person represents for me?”
“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”
When it comes to breakups, it would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone?
It’s okay to love someone and let them go.
Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.
And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.
When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever!
But only if you are open to it.
Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you.
I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!
Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!
Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!
At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.
We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love right now!
The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative.
We’re going to help you create your Love Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020!
The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.
It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.
Click here to create the love you want in 2020!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 17, 2018 | breakups, Dating, heartache, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
I want you to ask yourself a question, and I invite you to be 100% honest with yourself as you answer…
Are you still holding onto a past relationship?
The reason I ask you is because I was speaking with someone earlier this week who has spent almost a year completely consumed with the ending of her relationship.
She is having trouble focusing, working on her business, and it’s beginning to impact her health and friendships.
Now, I want you to know. This is not a “weak woman.”
She is a strong, successful woman who knows herself to be powerful and is not afraid of facing challenges.
Still, when it comes to this heartbreak, it’s been hard to get over what happened, let go of the pain, and move forward with her life.
The thought of opening her heart and trusting someone new feels terrifying, and, while she really does want to be in a loving relationship, she just doesn’t know if she is ready to do that yet.
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I know how hard it can be to let go of a past love and even consider the thought or possibility of loving and being loved by someone new.
The fear of having your heart broken again may actually be stopping you from even admitting that you want a relationship.
So, you throw yourself into your work.
You tell yourself you’re “okay” with being single.
You do anything and everything to avoid interacting or connecting with the opposite sex.
Or… you go to the other extreme and have a lot of casual, dead-end “micro-relationships” with men you know are not interested in anything other than “hanging out” or hooking up.
You try not to feel.
There is a natural grieving process after a breakup, and that is something Michelle and I help women with all the time so that they are moving forward in a healthy and self-nurturing way.
However, if you are resisting moving forward, pretending that you are “over it,” or you really do feel as if you can’t let go of your ex or the relationship, then it’s important that you learn how to let go of the past and all of the pain so that you can open up your heart and life to receive the love of a man who truly does want to love you for a lifetime.
If this is you and you are ready to at least explore the possibility of letting go of an old relationship and opening up to receiving the right one, then we have opened up our calendar for the next couple of days to help you do just that.
CLICK HERE to take your first step in letting go and moving forward.
On this call, we will discuss where you are at in the letting go process, determine which Love Barriers are stopping you from moving forward, and give you the best next steps you can take to let go and move forward, toward the love that is already waiting for you.
It’s time to let go. You know it inside. And it’s okay that this scares you a bit.
The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. We’re here to support you. Let us help you take a step toward the love and happiness you deserve and desire!
Grieving after a breakup is part of the process, but so is letting go. If you’ve been holding onto a past relationship and you’re just not sure how to move forward, let’s talk, and let us help you take one step at a time toward the love and happiness your heart desires!
by heartsdesireintl | Jun 8, 2018 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Successful Women
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever asked yourself:
Why don’t I have the relationship that I want?
You’re sad, frustrated, and tired of things not going your way when it comes to love.
You see your friends and co-workers having happy, fun, loving relationships.
You’ve read books, listened to podcasts, watched videos, taken courses, and you still don’t have the loving relationship you want.
We know how painful that can be because we’ve been there.
And so have many of our clients.
As a successful woman, it’s not easy trying to do everything you know to do and still not see the results for your life.
You’re used to setting a goal and hitting it… no matter what.
Things are different when it comes to love, however.
First, everything isn’t dependent on you. You simply cannot make a man want to feel, say, or do what he doesn’t want to do.
Sure, you could try to manipulate, demand, and control him in order to get him to do what you want, but the truth is that, even if he falls for it once, he’ll eventually get tired of the game and move on.
You could also settle for less than what you really want. However, that doesn’t really sit well with a successful woman with high standards and a real desire to be in an extraordinary relationship.
Or you could give up on having the relationship you want. So, you could stay single or believe that the relationship you’re in is beyond saving. Again… not something a successful woman is used to or likes doing!
So, what is the alternative?
Well, you can figure out what it is that’s been getting in the way of you having the kind of love, connection, and commitment you really want to have with a man and then take the steps to remove and replace those thought and behavior patterns so that you can actually experience the love you want!
And, sorry, but that’s not something you can learn from a book or video!
See, while you may gain insight or awareness from a book, podcast, or video, the real work to distinguish, remove, and replace beliefs, triggers, patterns requires guidance to see what is currently in your blind spot.
The reason it’s called a blind spot is because you can’t see it! Not on your own.
This is why you keep telling yourself you’re not going to be the one to call or pursue a man, and yet you keep taking the lead.
It’s why you say you’re not going to continue going out and getting involved with men who aren’t ready to commit, but you end up getting physically intimate before you even really know him or there is any sign of true commitment.
Or, if you’re in a relationship, it’s why you promise yourself that you’re not going to raise your voice or argue about that same issue ever again, and the moment he says or does something, you find yourself in a full-blown argument that lasts hours (or days), costing you time you can be snuggling, loving, and being adored by the man you love.
The first thing to realize is: It’s not your fault.
Again, these are blind spots, and, if you knew how to stop doing these things – exactly which steps to take to completely break these patterns for good – you would be doing that already!
What you need to do is figure out:
- what is causing the same patterns to show up;
- how to break them apart so that they don’t keep showing up in your life; and
- how to replace those patterns with new ones – the kind that will have you experiencing the love, happiness, and intimacy your heart truly desires with a man who deserves to love and be loved by you!
If you know that you’re ready to stop repeating the same patters and creating the same painful results in your life, then you need to commit to taking the right steps.
Michelle and I are attending a personal development training next week, so we can’t offer to have you schedule a time to speak with us. However, we really want to help and be here for you, so we’re doing the next best thing!
All you need to do is email us and share with us the primary pattern that keeps showing up in your love life and why you’re committed to stopping it.
One of us will read your email and respond by giving you some clear coaching on how you can stop that pattern and create a new one that will give you the results you want in love.
Because we’ll be in all-day trainings, you may get your email response at weird hours of the day or night, but you will get the answers you want!
Remember, it really isn’t your “fault” that you haven’t been able to break the patterns. If you knew what to do, you would have already done it. However, if you really want to change the results you’ve been getting in your love life, it is up to you to take the right steps to do that.
So, go ahead. Email us share your primary pattern, and one of us will respond with clear and proven steps you can take to break the pattern and start getting the love you want!
by heartsdesireintl | Mar 30, 2018 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice
by Gladys Diaz
Today, for those of us who are Christians, is Good Friday.
As a young girl, I always wondered why it was called “Good” Friday, when it marked such a sad day. I honestly could not see how remembering a brutal death of someone we loved and followed was supposed to be something “good.”
It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that, without the death of Jesus, there would not and could not have been a resurrection.
Resurrection can only come after death.
Much like healing can only come after injury or illness…
… rebuilding can only come after destruction…
… renewed hope can only come after a period of doubt or hopelessness.
And, many times, true love comes after heartache.
I know that was the truth for me, for Michelle, and for so many of the women who we have helped around the world to find the love they desire and deserve.
It’s also what’s true if you want to create a true breakthrough and transformation in your love life.
See, there is a letting go — a “dying,” of sorts — that has to happen if you are going to truly open your heart to a new and extraordinary kind of love.
You have to be willing to let go of the past, of your fears and your heartache.
You need to let go of your limiting beliefs and doubts, your judgments and expectations in order to create something completely new and different from what you have had and experienced in the past.
So, here’s my question to you:
What are you willing to let go of, once and for all, so that you can begin to welcome in the love that is waiting for you on the other side of your past?
What fear, doubt, belief or pattern are you ready to release so that new and extraordinary love can find its way to you?
What resentment, regret, or disempowering story are you finally willing to let go of so that you can create a new story — one that has you living the life and love your heart desires?
I know that letting go can feel scary, but it’s not quite so frightening when you don’t have to figure out how to do it on your own. Remember, we’re here for you!
Remember: The past has no power over you, except for the power you grant it in the present. Sometimes, letting go of just one fear or limiting belief can open the floodgates to letting new love in!
So let us know, what is one thing you are committed of letting go of so that you can have the love and happiness you desire and deserve?
by heartsdesireintl | Sep 22, 2017 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love
by Gladys Diaz
I have a quick question for you:
Have you ever felt helpless?
It’s one of the most vulnerable feelings in the world!
And I have to admit that I do not like feeling that way… at all!
So, it goes without saying that the last couple of weeks – between prepping for, living through, and cleaning up after Hurricane Irma –have been a bit challenging, to say the least.
(Before I go on, I just want to say that, if you or your loved ones were affected by the storm – or any of the storms and natural disasters that have been impacting us lately – know that you are in Michelle’s and my prayers and that we hope you are safe and that you have not experienced too much damage or displacement.)
Going through the storm brought up so many fears and anxieties.
There is something about the feeling of helplessness that comes with not knowing what to expect, what is coming next, whether what you have done to prepare is enough, and what will happen to the people you love and your possessions.
I spent days running around, going from store to store, looking for the most basic things, like water, only to find that the shelves were bare, no one could tell me when a new shipment would arrive, and wondering if what we had at home was enough. It was so scary to see that some of the things I was taking for granted would be there when I got to the store were gone and not knowing whether I would be able to get the things I knew I needed to take care of my family.
Then came the actual storm – the howling wind; the terrifying alarm on our weather radio, letting us know that there was yet another tornado in the area, and the sound of the trees in our backyard cracking and crashing to the ground.
And, all the while, there were the fearful thoughts:
What do I do?
Have I done enough?
How long will this last?
Will we be okay?
What’s interesting is that those feelings of helplessness don’t only come up around nature’s storms.
You feel them during life’s storms, too.
When you’re going through a breakup…
When you keep attracting and experiencing heartache after heartache…
When you see your relationship is falling apart…
Those same feelings of fear, uncertainty, and wondering whether what you have done is enough to prevent further pain and disappointment is enough fill us and can shake us to our core.
So, what can you do during life’s storms to not have fear and anxiety take over and rob you of your peace and happiness?
1. Stay present. I know this one is sometimes easier said than done, but it is the FIRST step in reducing fear and anxiety. Why? Because fear is always a “future experience.” While you may be afraid of repeating something that happened in the past, the fact is that what you fear is that it will happen again, in the future.
What’s more, fear is never “real.” It is only ever an imagined thought.
Now, hear me out on this. Am I saying that what you fear will never happen?
No.
What I am saying is that 99.999% of the time, the thing that you fear and/or are anxious about isn’t something that is actually happening right now, in the present moment. Instead, your thoughts are about what you are afraid may or may not happen in the future.
The problem with this is that, while you are imagining something that may or may not happen in the future, you are allowing it to rob you of your peace in the present.
So, the only way to interrupt the fearful thought pattern is to remind yourself that here and now, in the present moment, you are safe and the thing that you are thinking of is not actually happening.
This practice is life-changing.
Left unattended, fearful thoughts will rob you of your peace, of your ability to appreciate and experience what you DO have, and block future happiness – and love – from making its way to you.
This is why developing a powerful and empowering relationship with your fears is one of the first things we teach our clients when they begin working with us.
Imagine how incredibly empowering it would be to learn how to distinguish, dismantle, and replace a fear in 60 seconds or less!
As I said: Life-Changing!
2. Focus on what you CAN control. During the storm, there were many things I could not control – the force, sound, or direction of the wind; the path the storm was taking, the power going out or coming back on.
There were, however, many things I WAS able to control: Making sure our home was safe; ensuring we had enough food, water, and ice; being calm and strong for my kids.
Similarly, during life’s storms, there are things you can’t control, such as whether or not someone calls you or asks you out on a second date; how your partner chooses to feel; what your guy wants to say or do.
However, there are many things you can control, such as your thoughts, words, actions and reactions; what you allow to upset or trigger you; the feelings and thoughts you choose to have and how you choose to express them.
When you begin focusing your time, energy, and attention on the things you CAN control, you begin to feel more peaceful, confident, and empowered. You are not at the mercy of the storm. Instead, you get to choose how you will navigate through it with dignity, ease, and grace.
3. Ask for and receive help. This is another one that can be difficult, especially for powerful, successful women. You’re used to being strong, the one in charge, the one people come to for help and answers to their questions. Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, because you can make it mean that you’re not strong or capable enough to do things on your own. You fear that the vulnerability may be interpreted as weakness or incompetence.
However, quite the opposite is true!
It takes so much courage, authenticity, and inner strength to reach out for help. It takes even more of these to accept and receive the help.
I can’t tell you how many people I offered to come stay with us so they could have air-conditioning once our power came back, to take the water we had left over when they shared that they were under a boil-water order, and to use our generator when their power was still out. What I can tell you is that every one of these offers was not accepted at least once!
I heard responses like, “I’m used to toughing things out,” “I’m okay with sacrificing,” “Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure something out” – even after a week of not having power or being able to drink or use the tap water!
And so many powerful women do the same thing during life’s storms!
You don’t reach out for help or support so that you won’t seem weak.
You believe that struggling and “suffering” through the heartache is somehow “noble” or makes you stronger.
You deny help and support because you feel as if you “should be able to figure this ‘relationship thing’ out on my own.”
And, so, the suffering, pain, and heartache persist – many times for much longer than is necessary – when, instead you could turn the situation around, end the suffering, and begin enjoying the love and happiness much, much sooner, which is what you really want.
There’s no honor or glory in unnecessary martyrdom or sacrificing.
Instead, reach within, acknowledge that you could use some help, a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear, the right guidance to help you get to the other side of the storm with the results your heart desires.
Life’s storms will come. You don’t have much choice in that… That part’s not “optional.”
What you can choose is to face the storm with peace of mind and heart, strength, and the commitment to get to the other side of it.
What is optional is whether or not you make the time you spend in the eye of the storm peaceful, short-lived, and empowering.
I know what my choice is!
Let me know if there is any way I can support you with yours!
by heartsdesireintl | Jul 28, 2017 | breakups, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized
by Gladys Diaz
Have you ever really wanted to break a habit or pattern you see happening over and over again in your life, but, no matter how hard you try to stop doing it on your own, no matter how many books you read, videos you watch or teleclasses you attend, you still find yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would not do?
The same thing was true for one of my clients when it came to dating and relationships. I’ll call her Sophia, to protect her privacy.
Sophia didn’t necessarily have trouble attracting men. She would get asked out on dates and, sometimes, on multiple dates by the same guy.
The problem was that it seemed like the men she was attracting weren’t really interested in having committed relationships. They wanted to go out, have fun, and be sexually intimate, but they were not looking to have a committed relationship with her.
While it felt good to be asked out by men, this pattern of attracting men who did not want to have a long-lasting relationship with her made Sophia feel confused, frustrated, and used – especially if the man had said up front that he was looking for someone to be in a relationship, and even more so if she had been sexually intimate with him.
What Sophia discovered while we worked together was that the reason she was continuously finding herself in the same situation was not necessarily because every single man she was dating was not interested in a having a committed relationship.
It was because she had a hidden belief that, if she slept with a man who was showing interest in her, that having that physical connection would somehow ensure that he would want to have more of an emotional connection with her.
What would happen, however, is that she would feel overly attached to the man, begin acting as if they were in a relationship, and subconsciously begin demanding more time, attention, and affection from the man.
What was even more surprising to her was that she also had a hidden belief that the man would eventually disappoint and leave her.
So, subconsciously, she was attracting men who would confirm for her the hidden belief that she would not find a man who would love and accept her without her having to sleep with him, and that, even when she did, he would still leave her.
Now, it’s important to understand that Sophia did not want to continue repeating the same patterns.
In fact, if you asked her, she would tell you the exact opposite of that.
However, because these beliefs were in her subconscious, they were hidden from her – in her blind spot – and she was continuing to attract the same kind of man, take the same actions, and experience the same heartache time and time again.
As we worked together, Sophia began to uncover more of the Love Barriers that were blocking her from attracting and receiving the kind of love she really wanted. As we did the HeartWork to remove those barriers, she began experiencing more success in dating – having more fun, attracting really great men who were interested in possibly having a relationship with her, and finally meeting a wonderful man with whom she is living out the love and life of her dreams.
If you’re like Sophia, and you are tired of trying to stop repeating the same patterns, or, worse, you’ve pretty much given up on finding the kind of love you want, then I want to encourage you and let you know that you, too, can have the kind of loving relationship you want with a man who is going to truly and deeply love you for the rest of his life!
But here’s the deal: You have to be willing to take the steps to uncover the hidden barriers that are in your blind spot, blocking you from attracting and having the relationship of your dreams. Otherwise, the self-sabotage will continue.
Trust me, if you knew what they were and how to stop allowing them to keep you repeating the same painful patterns, you would have already done it.
Sometimes it takes working with someone who can lovingly guide you to see what you haven’t been able to see on your own. Then, once the barriers have been uncovered, we can get to the work of breaking and replacing them with new thought and behavior patterns that will allow you to easily and effortlessly attract the love you desire into your life!
If you’re ready to stop “trying” and you want to really get past this once and for all, I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar next week, and I’d be happy to help you have your love breakthrough!
Simply click here to schedule time for a Love Breakthrough Session, and we’ll do this together!
Remember: You deserve to finally be happy and in love with a man who deserves and desires you! Isn’t that worth doing what it takes to removing whatever’s in the way?
No matter what’s happened in the past, you can break the patterns that have kept you stuck in heartache. Let’s talk and breakthrough those patterns together!
Click here to schedule your Love Breakthrough Session.
