Heart's Desire Intl

Are You Ready to be Liberated from Anxiety?

by heartsdesireintl | Mar 6, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a fear of abandonment?

If you’re dating, do you constantly fear that no man will stick around, causing you anxiety and stress through the process?

If you’re in a relationship or married, do you torment yourself with thoughts that he’ll cheat or leave?

Do you feel like it doesn’t matter how much they tell you that they’re going to stay, you still worry?

If so, then you most likely have a fear of abandonment.

And this doesn’t mean that you have a parent that left you… though it might. Any experience of feeling like someone left you, any experience as a child or teenager, can leave you with this fear.

For me, our Dad died when we were 3 years old. My mom told us that he had “gone to live with the angels” but my little 3-year old brain didn’t understand what that meant. I just wondered what would make my dad leave me? That was the beginning of my abandonment fears.

Then, when we were 15, we went to live with other relatives because my mother, who had been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and alcoholism (not a good combination!) left. I wondered why my mother didn’t love us? Did she love alcohol more?

And that fear of separation and abandonment was reinforced.

Because of those experiences a few behaviors were created. I became very needy. I constantly needed others to validate me and reassure me of their love. I had a need to prove how great I was and often found that in order to do that I had to pretend to be something I wasn’t. I was super jealous in relationships and would create unnecessary drama.

In every relationship, I created one of two things. Either they would leave or I would leave before they could get the chance.

I was never getting to experience true intimacy in a relationship because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

Can you relate?

Here’s the thing. High-quality, integritous, confident men will not put up with this in a relationship. No matter how much they love you. If a man constantly feels like you don’t trust him or that he can’t make you happy, it affects his confidence and he will eventually withdraw or leave altogether.

Through your behavior you are actually creating the very thing you fear.

So how do you overcome this fear before it destroys your relationship?

Ask yourself – Who am I being in my life and this relationship that has me think that it’s so easy to pick up and leave me? – Asking yourself this question really opens up for you to explore the responsibility for your behavior. It also will help you to uncover what happened that had you make the decision that you were and will continue to be abandoned.
Resolve – completely accept the reality of what happened. – For me that was 1. My dad died and 2. My mom needed help and had to leave. Those are the facts. That is the truth without any of my meaning-making behind it. Once you can 100% accept the reality of what happened you can step into your power.
Dismantle the underlying beliefs. – Once you have uncovered the core belief, where it came from, and resolve it for yourself, you can uncover the other limiting beliefs about yourself. Once I accepted the reality I started to get that I am loveable. I will be okay. I am worth sticking around for.

And that’s when relationships started to get good.

Because the truth is… love is not enough. Relationships take love, respect, communication and trust to work.

So… will you do the HeartWork? And if you need support will you schedule a call with us? Sometimes this is tough work that having support could make all the difference for you! What if you could liberate yourself from fear and anxiety in your relationships? How much would that be worth to you?

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Are You Being Used?

by heartsdesireintl | Jan 11, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Are you afraid of being taken advantage of by men?

Do you seem to consistently attract men that “need” something”?

Do you feel like men only want sex from you and that once they have gotten it, they disappear?

Is your experience that men always need your “fixing”?

If this seems to be your experience in dating and relationships, know that you are not alone. In our work with thousands of women, this is the #1 limiting belief that women have about men and relationships.

And the thing is, for those with this fear, it is 100% real to them.

That’s why we wanted to share this message first thing in this new year!

If this is what you are experiencing or feel like you are experiencing — basically if this is your paradigm for relationships — it’s because you’ve had an experience in the past that created this belief.

Warning signs that you have this belief are that:

you have the experience of over-giving and not receiving back a relationship
you feel as if you’re being used for sex
you’re helping a man “gets back on his feet,” or being used financially
you feel like you must be “needed” in order for someone to love you, and that if they don’t “need” you, then they will leave you

Think about your last 3-4 relationships? Was this showing up?

If these signs have shown up in three or more of your past relationships, then there’s a pattern that needs shifting!

This pattern comes from a belief that you created because of a past experience.

And that belief was most likely created years before your first date.

One example of something you may have experienced as a child is having something happen that led you to believe you had to DO something EXTRA in order to be loved.

When you have this belief, you will attract men who need you, need help, need support, and you feel like you are always the one doing the helping or “fixing.”

So ask yourself –

Are you noticing these patterns in your relationships?

Are you having painful experiences in dating?

OR are you holding yourself back and not having experiences with men because of this fear?

The first step to shifting fears is to recognize that they are present, so be honest with yourself here.

If this sounds like you, then start to pay attention to these things when you are dating…

Are you over-giving? Are you giving to another person to the point that you are not honoring yourself?
Are you taking time to really get to know someone? Are you holding back in a healthy way so you don’t give too much too soon? Are you giving yourself the opportunity of time to get to know someone so you know that can trust the other person and his intentions?
Are you looking for consistency in words and actions in the men you are dating?
Are you feeling safe to be generous and give love freely because you are receiving in return?

Sometimes you need help recognizing these patterns in your life. We want you to know that so much of the pain you experience in love, dating, and relationships is unnecessary and avoidable!

If you feel like this is a belief you have, and you’re having a hard time recognizing or shifting the pattern, let us help you do the HeartWork to break past it.

You get to be loved freely, and to be loved freely in return.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Releasing Toxic Emotions and Feeling Whole Again

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 13, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, keeping the love alive, Love, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Are you really happy?

I ask because, many times women say they are happy when really, underneath, there are other things going on. This is so often what’s blocking them from finding love!

Now, I’m not talking about pretending to be happy. And I’m not saying that you can never be sad. Experiencing happiness, as well as sadness, are both parts of being human. As are feeling disappointed, jealous, angry, joyful, and apathetic.

These are all human emotions.

What I am talking about is when these emotions become your “emotional landing place” or your natural state. When feeling sad, angry, disappointed or apathetic become the place you seem to come back to, even after brief moments of happiness or joy, that’s when they’ve become “toxic emotions.”

An emotion becomes toxic when you allow it to “settle in” and take home in your heart. When you have these toxic emotions that haven’t been worked through, they show up, and usually in ways you don’t like and that push love away.

Last weekend, at our incredible 2020 Love Vision Event, we coached several women who were dealing with unresolved toxic emotions . When they were triggered, some shut down, others got visibly angry, some allowed the toxic emotions to take over how they reacted and responded, and others were unable to feel anything.

And we coached them to feel, process, and release the toxic emotions.

See, when a toxic emotion comes up, it’s usually triggered by a memory or thought of something upsetting. The thing to remember is that it’s not the current situation that is “causing” the emotions to come up. Those emotions are already there, under the surface, , so you must feel them so that you can then do the work of releasing them.

So how do you release toxic emotions?

1. Feel it.

As I said, in order to begin the process of releasing toxic emotions, you must feel them. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, punch your pillow. Allow the emotion to be present for a moment, so you can feel it. The problem comes when you bury it.

2. Process it.

Ask yourself… “What’s causing this? What are the triggers? How is it showing up in other areas of my life? life? What impact is it having?

Is it causing you to lash out?

Are you relating to yourself a victim because of it?

Is it causing you anxiety or depression or nervousness?

Is it making it difficult for you to connect with people?

Are people being able to notice the energy of the emotion that’s constantly around you?

Another place to look to how toxic emotions may be impacting you is in your body. As Louise Hayes taught in her book You Can Heal Your Body, our emotions have a way of showing up in our bodies.

Have you suddenly gained or lost weight? Are you having unexplained aches and pains anywhere in your body? Are you having a hard time sleeping? What is your body telling you?

Also, look around you. Your life and your space are a reflection of what’s really going on inside you. Is your house a mess? Are you having a hard time keeping your desk organized? Do things seem to keep breaking around you?

If you’re feeling like something’s off, do a personal inventory and ask yourself: Where, energetically, am I in breakdown? “What in my life is out of integrity?

These questions will help you take a self-inventory to see what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

3. Release it.

Once you’ve done the work to uncover and discover what is causing the toxic emotion and how it’s impacting you, you can then choose to let it go. You can release the emotion by seeing that you no longer need to experience this emotion. Whatever triggered the emotion is usually no longer happening, and you can choose to release it, rather than holding onto it and allowing it to consume you.

Happiness and lightness are what are attractive to others and what makes your body and soul feel good! We have emotions for a reason, and experiencing them is a human condition.

The key is not being scared of them, wrapping yourself up in them, or indulging in them for too long. Instead, allow yourself to feel them appropriately, process them, and release them so they don’t get stuck, become toxic, and stop you from having and experiencing the happiness and love your heart desires.

If you’re dealing with toxic emotions and having trouble working through and releasing them, let us help you do the HeartWork to work and break through them. You don’t have to let the toxic emotions rob you of the life and love you want. And you don’t have to do this alone. Schedule a Love Breakthrough and set yourself free!

Yes, I want to break free from my toxic emotions!

It’s Possible For You Too.

by heartsdesireintl | Dec 4, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Getting engaged, heartache, Intimacy, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

One of the pillars of what we teach – something that’s absolutely fundamental to creating the passionate, intimate, connected, loving relationship that you desire – is having a crystal-clear vision of what you want.

And we mean crystal-clear. Not just kinda-sorta knowing what you want. Not just having a list of expectations of what your man must have. And not just having it written it down, but still not really believing that you can have it.

We’re talking about being able to see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, AND believe that it will happen.

Without that level of clarity, you will settle for what you think you can get.

We hear it from clients all the time,

“What if this is the best I can do?”

“What if I let this one go and have to wait another 10 years?!”

“What if what I want is unrealistic?”

“What if it’s just not possible for me?”

I was talking with a client the other day who was telling me about the beautiful vision she has for love. It was a vision of fun and laughter and connection and joy. hen, in the middle of describing it to me, she stopped, and said, “I know, it sounds crazy. There’s no way this is possible. It’s too much”

Was she asking for a man with 5 hands? No.

Was she asking for a man that owned 5 islands? No.

Was she asking for a man with 17 eyes. No.

Now, that is unrealistic (and a little absurd)!

As we dug deeper, we discovered that a childhood (and lifetime) of feeling like there was never enough and that she was always asking for “too “was the reason she had this limiting belief. She realized what it was costing her to continue holding onto the belief that what she wanted was too much and not possible for her, and she decided that it was time to break through it NOW!

Desiring to have a relationship that is full of fun and laughter and connection and wonderful sex — none of that is too much. Everything about that is possible, AND it’s possible for you.

Creating that vision and the reality of creating it comes from clarity.

Clarity asks the questions:

“What do I want to experience in the relationship of my dreams?”

“What am I going to bring to the relationship so that I can experience that?”

“How can I BE the love that I want to see?”

Clarity is not about knowing what qualities you want your man to have. It’s about knowing what you want to experience in the relationship of your dreams, and then BEing those things.

BEing the respect you want to experience.

BEing the love you want to receive.

BEing the fun.

BEing the passion.

And what does BEing look like?

Taking action. But not just any kind of action.

It means taking the kind of action that is aligned with your vision.

Having all the faith and clarity in the world will get you absolutely nowhere without taking action.

A vision without action is nothing but a wish. And wishing is not a real strategy for getting what you want.

Which is why we want to invite you to our 2020 Love Vision Workshop, happening in just a few days. We’l lbe walking you through a deep process to help you actually physically experience the clarity you are seeking.

But it won’t stop there.

You will walk away from the event, not just with a crystal-clear vision, but with a PLAN to carry it out. With the actual steps to make it a reality.

Because it IS possible for you to create the love that you want in 2020.

Click here to learn how to manifest the relationship you want.

And, in case you’re thinking that 2 days can’t make a difference in what’s possible for you for 2020, I want to share this with you:

Let’s go back to Christmas of 1998. I had just lost my husband in September, and I felt like I was walking through a fog. The holidays seemed so empty without him. I felt alone, and it was hard.

Just one year later, Christmas 1999, I was in New York City but I wasn’t alone. I was celebrating Christmas with Ric and both of our mothers. I’ll never forget when he brought out my gift (a beautiful purse) and was fussing about how he hoped I would like it. When I opened it up, I found a beautiful, custom-made engagement ring inside! We’d talked about getting married, so that part wasn’t a surprise. But to have it happen then, on Christmas Eve, with our moms there with us, I was elated!!

SO much can change in just one year. The difference between Christmas 1998 and Christmas 1999 was just one year, but it was day and night for me!

Trust me when I say, everything you think can’t happen, but you dream might happen, CAN happen in just one year!

And it will, once you have the clarity and the action steps to create it.

Click here to manifest the love you want in 2020!

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 22, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Romance

by Gladys Diaz

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of?

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love.

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back, but just seem to be stuck.

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how.

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t allow you to move forward.

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results.

What are you currently experiencing?

Are you going on dates or are you holding back?

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process?

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves?

Is there something wrong with every single person you go out with?

Are you not attracted to anyone?

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No, you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar?

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious.

Ask yourself,

What’s really going on here?

Why am I not feeling connection?

Why am I never attracted to anyone?

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…”

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?”

“I wonder why I can’t let go?”

“I wonder what that person represents for me?”

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone?

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever!

But only if you are open to it.

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you.

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love right now!

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative.

We’re going to help you create your Love Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020!

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!

Are You Ready To Get Over It And Move On?

by heartsdesireintl | Nov 8, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz

Is your past keeping you from having the future you desire?

Are you unable to get over an ex, no matter what you do?

Are you so afraid of getting your heart broken like you did last time, that you’re stopping yourself from being available?

Are you scared that you’ll choose the wrong man yet AGAIN and end up brokenhearted and?

Do you see how these are all fears that are being triggered by something you experienced in the past?

If you don’t overcome your past, your past will be present in your present and impact your future. Which is a shame, because your past is not a predictor, it’s an informer.

What does that mean?

It means that, just because you chose an abusive man in the past, doesn’t mean you will do it again.

It means that just because your last boyfriend cheated on you and the relationship ended in massive heartache for you, doesn’t mean the next man will do this, too.

Your past experiences don’t determine what you will continue to experience IF you do the HeartWork to replace the fears that created them.

We all have fears. We are all humans walking around afraid of what someone else might do to us, worrying we may mess up, or that something might go wrong. Fear is part of the human condition. We can’t eliminate it, but we can learn to overpower it.

The trick is learning how to break through any patterns of fear and anxiety that are stopping you from living the life and creating the future you desire.

The crazy thing about fear is that the energy of fear is magnetic. When you are living in a space of fear around anything, you are energetically and subconsciously attracting that to you. This means that until you do the work to release the fear, you WILL continue to experience it.

So how do you release fear?

You can learn to release fear by going through our “In-the-Moment Fear Exercise. Trust us, making this exercise a practice you do all the time will change your life.

Moment of Fear Exercise

1. Recognize what got triggered inside of you.

Realize this: When you experience a fear, it isn’t you that got t triggered, something inside of you got triggered — a past experience, a fear, an anxiety that’s been developed over time. When that thing gets triggered, you can do 1 of 2 things.

You can…

a) Go into your automatic response of either blowing up or shutting down (it’s called fight or flight. We’re sure you’ve heard of it.)

b) STOP and recognize that something has been triggered and then move on to step 2 in the exercise.

Note: This acknowledgement happens in a split-second, so it does take some practice to gain the awareness to recognize the trigger in the moment.

2. Ask yourself: What just happened?

It’s important that you answer this question with only the facts about what actually happened, with no interpretation or analysis of the event(s) that just took place. It usually can be answered with as few as 3-10 words. Anything longer is a clue that you making what happened mean something.

3. Ask yourself: What did I make it mean?

What did you decide it meant when that guy you just went out with didn’t call the next day?

What did you make it mean when you saw your date going to the bathroom with his phone?

Did you create the idea that because he didn’t call you it means you’re not dateable?

Did you decide that because your date took his phone into the bathroom it meant he was texting another girl?

The majority of the time, whatever is upsetting you, robbing you of your peace, and/or causing you fear is not what actually happened. What’s upsetting you is whatever you made what mean — about him, you, them, it… everything!

4. Ask yourself: Is that what really happened?

Because our brain cannot tell the difference between what is actually happening and what we’re afraid might or might not be happening, this is the life-altering part of this exercise.

When you take what you made an experience mean and compare it to what actually happened, you start to see reality and the fear disappears.

Michelle was talking to a client the other day, and walking her through this exercise. A man had asked her what was wrong with her that she is in her 40’s and has never been in a long-term relationship. She made that experience mean that she is a failure in everything in her life, and that it’s never going to work for her.

As Michelle walked her through this exercise, she did what we all do: find ways to justify what we’ve made it mean. “But I haven’t been in a relationship, so I am a failure!” “My business isn’t working right now, and it never will!.

Michelle asked her, “Is ‘never’ happening right now?” “Does because it hasn’t’ worked mean it never will?”

Of course, the answer to these questions is “no,” and once she saw that, she started laughing and her desire to continue the journey in her business and dating was renewed.

What about you?

What do you want to experience in your life? What if you took this exercise and put it into action, practicing it over and over until you shifted what you are currently experiencing?

Overcoming your fears gives you POWER. It gives you absolute power to create anything you desire, in love and beyond.

Because we desire this for you, PLUS so much more, we have put together an incredible Pre-Black Friday offer that you can grab now! This Love Power Pack includes tickets to our 2020 Love Vision Live Event happening in December, as well as some swag to help you always remember that you are a fierce, feminine, and fabulous and that you have the power to create your love vision NOW.

Click here to learn more.

Have this be the last Christmas and New Years you spend alone? Come to this event and you may not even be alone this Christmas! How would that feel?

Don’t let your fears and your past stop you from creating the future you want, including the loving, passionate, extraordinary relationship your heart desires!

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