How to Be Loved, Cherished and Adored For Being YOU!

How to Be Loved, Cherished and Adored For Being YOU!

by | Apr 12, 2021 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz 

Are you showing up authentically in your relationships?

Do you ever feel like you’re pretending to be something or someone you’re not, hiding things about yourself, forcing yourself to act a certain way, holding back from saying things you’d like to say, or squashing down feelings?

These are just a few examples of ways you can be showing up as inauthentic with others in relationships.

Something we often hear from women is that they didn’t even realize they were doing these things! 

The amazing thing is that once they see it, they’re able to transform it and create something different in dating and relationships.

The simple truth is that if you aren’t able to show up as the real authentic you, it’s impossible for someone to fall in love with you – because you aren’t even really there!

There is one thing that is always underneath the inability to be authentic. 

Can you guess it? 

If you said FEAR, you were right!

Being inauthentic shows up from an underlying fear that if you do or say a certain thing, then something will or won’t happen. 

So you’re always either:
1) Trying to avoid having something happen, or

2) Trying to force or make something happen

And THAT’S why dating and relationships feel “hard” and “exhausting”!

It actually takes much more energy to avoid or force things,  hold back, not be authentic, and pretend to be someone you’re not. 

When you’re exhausted from trying to figure out who you need to be, squashing down your feelings and people pleasing, when you’re not doing and saying what comes naturally to you, you simply can’t have fun in relationships either! 

Plus, you really can’t keep up with pretending for very long.

So- how do you transform these fears that are causing you to be inauthentic?

  • Recognize and identify the fears that are holding you back. 

What are the fears that have you holding back the real you in relationships? 

Fill in the blank: “If I show up as my true self ____________ will/won’t happen.” 

If you’re not aware of why you’re pretending, resisting, etc., there’s no way for you to transform that. 

  • Go deeper.

What’s underneath the fear you uncovered in Step One? 

Then, what’s underneath that fear? 

And underneath that fear?

Do you fear getting angry because you judge how you act when you’re angry? 

Does that cause you to hold back feelings and create resentment and frustration in dating? 

Do those feelings cause you to attract men into your life that do things that make you angry?

See how it’s all connected?

90% or more of your attention is going to the thing you’re trying to avoid! 

Getting under the layers of the fear is what will help you to transform it. 

  • Let go of the story behind the fear and create something different.

We create exactly what we are doing and who we are being. 

If you’re hiding in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that hide things from you and lie.

If you’re prepending in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that pretend and don’t show you who they really are. 

If you’re holding back in your relationships, you’re going to attract men that aren’t emotionally available. 

It’s all connected. 

When you do the work to transform your fears and the stories behind them, then you can attract a different type of man, experience what you want, and create a relationship where you are loved, adored, cherished, and accepted for who you are.

When you learn to activate your energy toward the things you desire to create, that’s when life changes.

Do you feel like this is something that’s holding you back, but you aren’t sure why? 

If you’re curious about getting  underneath the surface of what has you people-please, pretend, or feel like you can’t be yourself in relationships, schedule a love breakthrough session now. 

It’s time for you to be loved just the way you are!

Think about what it will be like to break through the fears that have been holding you back for 10, 20, 30 (or more!) years!! 

How amazing will it be to leave all of that in the past and move forward with true, authentic confidence in yourself and how you show up and communicate in relationships? 

That’s what we want for all women AND for you. 

We want you to feel free to be yourself so that you can be loved for everything you are and everything you’re not. 

And we want you to know that that’s possible for you to create it now. 

Schedule a Love Breakthrough Session

 

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

Are You Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop?

by | Oct 2, 2020 | breakups, Coaching, Communication, Forgiveness, Getting engaged, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

How do you keep the love growing? 

How do you keep the relationship from going stale?

How do you keep your marriage from getting complacent, too comfortable, or boring? 

There is something we hear a lot from women. A very common concern is “Things are  great now, but what happens when _________ (you fill in the blank).” 

How do you not just create a relationship, but a long-lasting relationship that gets better and better with time? 

We find that women who have this concern are waiting for the other shoe to drop — even when things are going well. They have a fear –  whether it’s that they’re afraid he’s not trustworthy, that  they’ll eventually fall into old habits and ruin things, or they’re sure there’s something wrong with him that they just haven’t seen yet – and  it’s causing them to sabotage their relationships over and over again. 

The problem when you are in this cycle of waiting for something to go wrong is that your focus is on what isn’t going to work, versus what’s right and going well in the present . 

See if this sounds familiar… 

One of our past clients found herself in this pattern. After years and years of dating, she finally found herself in the relationship of her dreams. She had met a wonderful man, and they had an incredible time together. He would fly to see her and pay to fly her out to visit him. Things were going wonderfully, and he was starting to initiate conversations about where they wanted to take the relationship next. EEEEE – exciting! 

One weekend, he flew out to see her and she found herself acting strange. She could feel herself pulling away and trying to withdraw, and when he would ask what was wrong, she would respond like most women do by saying, “Nothing!” 

Well, he was persistent with asking her what was going on, and eventually she told him that she could feel herself pulling away because she was waiting for something to go wrong. – How could things actually be this good? 

Instead of being overjoyed and in the moment about how wonderful things were for her then, she was worried about what might happen to ruin things in the future. 

Have you ever experienced yourself doing something similar? 

This pattern of behavior is so detrimental and destructive to relationships, because when men are having to constantly defend themselves against things they aren’t doing, or feel like they’re paying the price for men who came before  them, they get exhausted by it, and the love and intimacy starts to chip away. 

When you have a history of bad relationships or trauma from your childhood, you often spend time and energy in your current relationship looking for that same history to repeat itself as a way to prepare yourself for what may happen. 

The thing is, if you go into a relationship, even with the perfect man, doing this, you will sabotage it. 

So, how does this show up for you? 

Does it show up like it did for this client, where you pull away when things are going well? 

Do you always feel like you have to do something to either “fix” the situation or the person you’re dating? 

Do you create drama in your relationship so that you can feel the dips of things going badly in order to feel the high that comes with things being good again? 

Here’s how you can recognize when you’re in the pattern of drama or looking for things to go wrong in our relationship: 

You’re telling someone about something that isn’t working in your life and they give you a solution, and you respond with a “Yeah, but…!”

Someone presents a solution to you, and you follow-up with yet another problem that needs to be solved.. 

No matter how well things are going, you don’t allow yourself to enjoy the good times because you are preparing yourself for the impending doom that is on its way. 

Recognizing this pattern is one of the first steps in the Heartwork that we teach, so that you can start training yourself to experience happiness and joy. Getting to a place where you understand that “peace” does not equal “boring” is a great place  to begin.

Here’s the truth: Life comes with enough challenges that you don’t want or need to u create more of them. 

We often hear the phrase, “Hard times are part of being in a relationship,,” and that makes us cringe! Yes, hard times come sometimes.  That’s part of life. But hard times are not a requirement in a relationship.

Our goal is for every one of our clients to experience joy, love, and excitement in a relationship and to know that those can come on an ordinary day simply because you’re together. 

If you’re looking for more ways to break this pattern of drama and expecting bad things to happen in your relationship, please join us tomorrow for our  Reignite the Spark Masterclass ! 

This 3-hour event is for every woman who is looking to make her relationship, partnership, or marriage the best that it’s ever been. We want to help you take things to the next level to experience even more love, excitement and joy in your life and relationship than ever before. 

Click HERE to register NOW!

Marriage doesn’t have to be hard or get boring., Feeling peaceful and comfortable with your partner  is a good thing. And just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean the passion has to fade. 

When I’m sitting on my couch and I look over at Ric and my boys,  I think “This is it! This is what joy feels like! This is what I was waiting for!” 

That’s what we want for you, too, NAME!!

Join us tomorrow for Reignite the Spark!

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

Let Go of the Wrong Man So You Can Attract the Right One

by | Sep 8, 2020 | Coaching, Dating, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Self-Love, Success

rby Gladys Diaz 

Are you with the wrong guy? 

Are you in a relationship that feels like settling? 

Are you still hung up on a relationship that’s long been over, but you can’t seem to move on?

Are you frustrated feeling like you’re never going to be able to find the right person to bring into your life? 

The answers to these questions  are so important, because there is no way to create the relationship of your dreams if you’re stuck in something that’s not it. It can get tricky, because sometimes you may be open to seeing the red flags, and sometimes you’re not. 

So how do you know if you’re with the wrong guy? 

If you have clarity and know what you want to be experiencing in the relationship of your dreams, then you know when you’re not in it.

You must get crystal-clear on what it is that you want to feel and experience when you’re with the right guy in order to know when you’re with the wrong one.

Now, “crystal-clarity” isn’t the laundry list of what you want your guy to look like or have. It’s about the experience you have when you’re with him.

Do you feel at peace when you’re with him?
Can you be yourself?
Is the relationship aligned with your values and what’s important to you? 

When you know what you want – it becomes crystal clear if you’re in it or not.  It becomes less about looking for “red flags” and more about looking at what you’re actually experiencing when you’re around him, and then deciding if it’s aligned with what you really want. 

Why is this important? 

It’s important because, if you’re not having the experience you want to have in the relationship of your dreams, then the truth is:  You’re settling. 

We know why you stay. 

You think maybe he’ll come around.
You think maybe he’ll change.
Maybe… if you wait a little longer… love him a little more… give more of yourself to him…

If you find yourself in this pattern, listen up. Stop falling in love with “the potential” of what you think you see in a man, and start looking at what is actually there. Not from a judgmental place, but from a place of who he really is right now. 

We also know that if you’re willing to settle in a relationship, then you’re struggling with your self-worth and self-esteem. You’re not getting that you really do deserve to have exactly what you want in a loving relationship. 

When I was dating, this was me.

At one point, I was dating a man who was not only married, but was seeing three other women at the same time as me!

When I look back on that experience, I am dumbfounded as to what I was thinking, because, at the time, it didn’t even occur to me that maybe this wasn’t a good situation for me to be in. 

Years later, I know what I was thinking. I was continuing in my pattern of thinking if I could just be enough or do something right, that he’d choose me. I had fun with him, but the experience of being in what I thought was a relationship with him was super stressful. I was always wondering who he was with and whether he was going to call! It was not fun at all! 

It was not what I wanted, and this was blocking me from creating what I did want. 

The even bigger risk is that staying in a wrong relationship like the one I was in can have long-term effects on your psyche and your self-esteem, and the time it can take to heal from that can be devastating. 

Another aspect of being with the wrong guy is staying energetically connected to him, even after the relationship has ended. 

 The longest I’ve heard of a woman not being able to let go of a relationship is 17 years (that’s a teenager!)! 17 years of holding on to something that no longer existed and stopping herself from moving forward and creating the relationship she desired. 

 That’s heartbreaking! 

 So, what does it look like to let go? 

 First, you must bring acceptance to what is. You must realize that this relationship is not what you’re committed to creating and having, and accept that it needs to end.  If it already ended, you need to accept that it’s over, once and for all.

 Second, bring gratitude to the experience. Recognize the good memories, the lessons learned, and the people that may have come into your life through this person that are a blessing to you. When you feel gratitude for what was, it brings an empowerment to the choice you’re making to move on. 

 Third, you’ve got to realign yourself with your values. Your values are the compass you can use to guide your life. Though your boundaries and standards may change as the circumstances of your life change, your values – the things that matter to you most – will never change. Be true to and honor them, and you will always know you’re making the best choice for you.

 Fourth, do the Heartwork to understand how you got there in the first place. What are the core issues that drive the pattern of attracting the wrong man? Behind every dysfunctional pattern there’s a need you’re filling. Get clear on what that is so that you can shift it. 

 Fifth, begin taking committed action in the direction you’re now going. If you’re having a hard time letting go, make the choice to “lock the door” and move on! Take a stand, set boundaries and choose to move forward. 

 We know that a lot of this is “easier said than done” when you don’t know exactly how to do it on your own.  Think about it… If you knew what to do and how to do it, you would have moved on from this relationship a long time ago. 

If any or all of this sounds all too familiar,  we’d love to support you in finally letting go of the past, the wrong relationships, and anything that is holding you back from having the relationship of your dreams.

One of the fastest and most life-changing ways to do this is to join us at the Irresistible Woman LIVE virtual live event!

This 3-day, highly interactive, and transformational live virtual event for smart, successful women who want SUCCESS in love is one of the fastest and most effective ways to uncover what’s been getting in the way of you having the happy, loving, deeply connected relationship your heart desires!

 In these three days, you are going to get connected to who you truly are, experience transformations and breakthroughs in your relationship with yourself, break free from the past, and create the access for creating the relationship of your dreams!

 Whether you’re deeply desiring to attract the man or you want to create your dream relationship with the man you’re already with – this event is for you!

 Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

You’ll even get a special “LOVE  box” filled with cool swag and materials we’ll be using during the event IF you’re one of the first 100 people to grab your ticket.  

 Once the swag boxes are gone, they’re GONE, so don’t miss out on getting yours mailed to you before the event!

Click HERE to grab your ticket NOW!

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

How to Create Deep Connection in Relationships

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

How deep is your connection with the people you’re in relationship with? 

Do you feel like you can be open, intimate and close with others, or do you feel like your relationships are superficial and shallow? 

As human beings, we long for connection with other people, but not just any connection. We crave deep intimacy. Relationships where we can speak freely and share our souls. 

The thing is, the depth you’ll be able to go with someone else can only be as deep as the depth you’re able to go with yourself.

If you’re able to connect with yourself on a deep level, you’ll be able to connect deeply with others and create the fulfilling, connected, deep relationship you desire. 

So what if you can’t? What if you feel stuck in a pattern that’s not working? 

A client of ours was feeling frustrated because, for the third time in a row she’d created a committed relationship with a man, only to then find out something about his character that she wasn’t okay with.

She was frustrated because she was wondering why she wasn’t seeing the things she needed to see in a man before allowing herself to fall in love and become attached to him. 

She wanted to heal whatever was underneath this pattern so she could 1) stop having to deal with the heartbreak of walking away from men she loved who weren’t what she wanted, and 2) so she could finally create a deep relationship with the right man. 

She was experiencing this because there was something within her that needed healing and she was attracting that in those she was dating. 

So how do you heal what’s getting in the way of the love you want? 

First, you must get some insight. Look into your experience of you. 

Now is the time to get real with yourself. Answer these questions, honestly: 

Are your actions out of alignment with your beliefs and values? 

Do you have a hard time setting healthy boundaries?

Do you waver on your word or struggle having integrity with what you say?

Do you avoid certain people, situations or conversations? 

Do you try to change who you are to appease others? 

Do you have a hard time trusting others?

Do you walk around in a state of protection? Always feeling that you’re unsafe?

Do you push people away before they can get close?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely are disconnected in some area of your life, which will cause you to feel disconnected in areas of your relationships.

Look closely at your answers. 

Why do you behave the way you do? Where does it come from? 

If you’re in a relationship with someone right now and it feels like something is missing, look at it. Where is the connection missing? Get curious about it.

Open up in new ways to your partner. Look at what’s missing where you are and see what you can do to transform that barrier within yourself that will inspire change in the relationship. 

Once you’ve looked inward and seen where the breakdown is coming, from then you can heal it. 

You don’t overcome barriers. You heal them. 

You get to the source of where they came from — the moment you decided you couldn’t trust yourself, or whatever it is for you — and you do the Heartwork to heal it.

Now hear this:  You are not broken. Your heart may be broken, but you are not.
There may be a piece of you that is broken off, and that’s what you want to heal. 

Doing the Heartwork is about healing and bringing that piece back. 

Would you like support in healing the wounds you have?

Do you want to restore trust in yourself and others, have faith in love, let go of fears from the past and step into the relationship you desire – with yourself and others?

If so, we’d love to talk to you! Sometimes it takes someone else’s insight to see where we;re  blocked, and to learn how to do the work to heal it. 

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

When you heal, then you can be brave in life and love, because you’re open and ready to connect deeply and authentically within yourself and with others in relationship.

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

How to Communicate so He Can Actually Hear You

by | Jul 10, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, keeping the love alive, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What do your conversations with your partner look and feel like? 

When you share what you want or feel with your partner, do you think you’re communicating effectively, but he n gets defensive or doesn’t understand what you’re really trying to say? 

Do you want to know how to communicate what you want and feel in a way that your partner can receive and hear it? 

Sometimes, learning how to communicate effectively in relationships can feel like you’re learning a whole new language. This is because we’ve been conditioned that “being honest” or “sharing how we feel” means we have to complain or say what we want in an ineffective way. 

For example, let’s say you feel like your partner doesn’t do enough around the house. You say things like, “It’d be nice if I could get some help around here!” or “I never get any help!” or “I always have to do everything myself.” 

And then… he doesn’t do anything different. 

You’re confused, because you think you expressed your needs and hoping your partner will feel motivated and inspired to help. 

But he isn’t.

This was going on in my relationship with Ric years ago, and it was frustrating! 

I felt like I was asking for help, but nothing was changing in his behavior. 

Why wasn’t he responding the way I wanted him to?!

The answer is because I wasn’t communicating effectively.  

One day I said distinctly, “I need help.” 

What was his response? 

“What do you need help with?” 

I honestly didn’t know what to say, because it never occurred to me that it could be that easy. 

No nagging… no complaining… just “I need help!”

And then he offered  to take on a few of the things I didn’t feel I could do alone. 

Wow! 

I got the result I wanted simply from changing the way I was communicating and being distinct and clear about what I wanted.

He wanted to help me, he just needed to be able to hear what I was saying without the “static” of complaints, reasons, and justifications for it. . 

When communicating what you want with your partner, make sure you use short, distinct comments that clearly state what you want. 

“I want to go for a walk.” 

“I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to seeing you.” 

“I don’t want to do these dishes right now.” 

Clearly stating what you want allows the other person to hear you. 

It really is that simple. 

Another important part of communicating effectively in a relationship is making sure your intention for the conversation is clear and that you let go of any attachment to how the other person may respond. 

Intention is the umbrella under which the conversation happens, and it’s the compass that guides it. 

Your reason for communicating can’t be about trying to get the other person to do or say something. It has to be 100% about saying what you want to say in order to stay in alignment with what is true for you, regardless of how he may react.

Be very careful with this ,because your ego will try and get in the way. 

Be honest with yourself and make sure your emotions are in a place where your pure intention is  to create what you want — love, peace and connection vs being right or getting an apology. 

If you’re not clear about what you want to say and why, postpone the conversation until you are. 

Ineffective communication is the #1 breakdown in relationships, and mastering how you can create the kind of relationship you want to create is the key to success. If you’d like support in seeing how you can create more clarity and impact through your communication, book a call with us now!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Having clarity of intention, making sure your emotions are clear prior to the conversation, knowing what you want and don’t want, and letting go of attachment are the keys to having meaningful conversations that create deeper intimacy, connection and love in a relationship. 

Let us support you!

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

Is He Lacking Integrity? Are You?

by | Jul 7, 2020 | Coaching, Communication, Dating, Heart's Desire International, Intimacy, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz 

What is your definition of integrity? 

The universal answers that probably come to mind are,”Being honest,” or “Doing the right thing when nobody’s watching.”

Here’s our definition:“Honoring your word to the same level that you honor yourself.” 

This looks like following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to yourself and to others. 

This looks like honoring your personal thoughts and beliefs. 

This looks like knowing what you want and not settling for less. 

There was a time in my life when I didn’t really think about integrity. It just wasn’t something that mattered to me. I thought that being ten minutes late was still being on time. I justified my behavior and figured that if I didn’t follow through on things, people would understand. 

The thing is, I had no idea what I was doing to myself subconsciously.

The fact is, I was destroying my confidence regarding what I deserved. I was destroying the level of belief I had in myself about what I could create and accomplish.

Every time I took a job that paid less than what I wanted, I was diminishing  my personal integrity. 

Every time I called a guy I liked after I’d promised myself I’d wait to hear from him. I was showing that I didn’t believe I was worth being honest to. 

Every time I didn’t stick to a diet or exercise plan ,I was lowering my ability to trust myself.

I didn’t see that what I said mattered. 

The problem with this is that you can’t create a powerful life if you can’t trust yourself.

Every time I lowered my integrity, my life got more chaotic. 

And, finally I had a powerful wake-up call. 

“What if I started living my life by what I say matters?”

Guess what happened?

Well, when it comes to dating,I stopped tolerating certain things. If a guy said he’d call at a certain time and he didn’t, I noticed. If he did it time and time again I would choose to let him go. 

I stopped dating men that were separated, but still married. 

I raised my standards and stopped dating men who lied, did marijuana, and had lower standards than me. 

By raising my standards, I raised my awareness.

I realized that I could choose, and I started to choose differently. 

I started dating men who cared about integrity, too, and that made all the difference.

What if you were living your life like what you say matters? What might change?  

The #1 thing that improves self confidence is following through with the things you say you’ll do – both to others AND to yourself. 

Even the little things!

You can’t attract what you don’t create. You must start with yourself and have a look at your own level of integrity. 

When it comes to dating, you get to choose what you tolerate in a relationship – you get to decide!

We get it, sometimes emotions and attraction take over and we make concessions and accept behavior we don’t like. 

That’s why you need to be aware and awake.

Does he show up late or cancel 50% of the time? 

Does he treat you well both publicly and privately? 

Are you tolerating something you don’t want to have in a relationship?

These are just the beginning of the questions you can ask yourself to make sure you are creating or in the kind of  relationship you’d like to be in. 

And, if it appears that you’re in a relationship that lacks respect and integrity – look at yourself first. Be honest with yourself about whether or not you are respecting and being in integrity with yourself.

Don’t waste time and energy on things that don’t matter. Let him go.

Choose what you’ll tolerate.

Believe that you’re available to men who have and demonstrate integrity. 

There’s power in that.

If you’d like support diving into the questions that will bring you what you really desire in a relationship and what you may be tolerating to light, we’d love to speak with you!

Let us be the powerful wake-up call that supports you in creating the love and mutually respectful relationship you really want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session Now

Creating the life and relationship you want is always an internal job. If you’re attracting or in relationship with men that lie, don’t follow-through, or lack integrity in some other way – it’s time to take a look inward. We’re here to help you course-correct that so that you can experience the love and happiness your heart desires.

We’ve got you.