Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

Are Your Limiting Beliefs Causing You Heartache?

by | Sep 13, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized

by Gladys Diaz 

How you relate to yourself is how you relate to the world. 

Do you feel like you are “too much” of something? Or maybe you feel the opposite and feel that you’re “not enough.” 

Do you feel like you’re too successful or too independent. Maybe you think you’re too skinny or too emotional or too old.

Or, like I said, maybe your limiting beliefs show up as “not enough” statements. Maybe you think you’re not confident enough or not athletic enough or not worthy enough to attract the relationship and the love that you want. 

When I was single, I had a belief that maybe I was going to be successful at everything in life EXCEPT love. I was so confused as to why I was having so much success in other areas of my life, receiving promotion after promotion at work, and still it seemed there wasn’t a man on the planet that wanted to commit to me. 

I made it mean that there was something wrong with me. I truly believed that I wasn’t enough. How did that show up for me? I over-compensated for it. I showed up as over-competent, uber-confident, and always looked like I was super put together. 

The truth was that then I would go home and cry at night because, even though I was overcompensating for my belief, it was still there, and no amount of covering it up could replace the heartache, discouragement and frustration. 

Until…  I started doing something about it. I dug in to discover where this belief came from. And what did I uncover? 

A memory from the 5th grade where a group of popular girls were talking in a circle and I overheard them talking about me. I remembered hearing them saying that I was too skinny and flat-chested. I also heard them say that they couldn’t believe I didn’t realize I was smelly. Even after I walked up to the circle, they still kept talking about me! As a 10-year old it really hurt my feelings! After that experience, I made up the belief that I wasn’t enough, that I was never going to be a part of the in-crowd, and that people didn’t like me.

And then, 25 years later, there I was still carrying that belief around like it owned me.  I was overcompensating for that belief and not getting the results that I wanted, all because I believed so deeply that something was wrong with me and that a man was never going to love me. 

Are you doing the same thing? 

Are you walking around with a limiting belief that is running you?

How do you compensate for your beliefs?

What would you give to change them so that you can start experiencing the love that you desire? 

If how you relate to yourself is how others relate to you, then, in order to change the way others relate to you, you must first begin with yourself. 

How to Change a Limiting Belief: 

  1. Distinguish What Your Limiting Belief Is. 

What are your limiting beliefs? What do you tell yourself about yourself when you feel fearful or uncertain? Get clear on what is the fundamental belief that the rest of them  stem from. 

  1. Dismantle the Limiting Belief. 

Where did this belief come from? When did you make it up?

Get responsible to the fact that YOU created the belief, and, if you created it, then you can change it. Uncover how the belief is playing out. How is it showing up? How are you compensating? How is it affecting your life, your work, your relationships? 

  1. Replace the Limiting Belief With a Truth that is Authentic to You.

Start training your brain with a new truth. However, if your limiting belief is “I’m not enough” then don’t just make your New Truth the opposite of “I’m enough.” Really get clear on the characteristics that make you enough and claim them.

When I finally started to turn my beliefs around, I began saying that I was beautiful, extraordinary, and amazing. Then I took on BEing those things! I began BEing those characteristics and began to believe that, as I was BEing those things, I had the power to call in someone who was just as beautiful and extraordinary and amazing as me.

I did. 

And, so can you. 

If you’d like to learn even more about how to really change your mindset, the one that is telling you that dating is hard and that love’s not going to happen for you, join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening THIS weekend – September 13th and 14th – in Miami, FL. We will be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, HeartWork that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you are experiencing.  And we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

 Learn More Here

 

Dating doesn’t have to be hard. But your limiting beliefs may be making it hard for you. Let us help you learn the skills to make it fun and easy. 

 

Not local? Schedule time to speak with our team and get ready to have the love you want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to BE IRRESISTIBLE to Men

How to BE IRRESISTIBLE to Men

by | Sep 6, 2019 | Dating, Heart's Desire International, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Uncategorized

by Gladys Diaz 

 

Have you ever experienced this? You go on a date and, from your perspective, you have a GREAT time! The conversation flowed easily, you had fun together, there weren’t any awkward silences, and he even mentioned that he’d love to see you again soon!

And then…

You never hear from him again. 

What is that about, right?! 

So many women get frustrated with this aspect of dating because it can be so confusing.

When this type of thing happens to you over and over and over again, it’s easy to make up stories about men in general, or about yourself. 

You think: 

All men are flakes and dating is a waste of time. 

All men want is to sleep with me on the first date, and if I don’t, then I’ll never hear from him again. 

I’m too much for guys. They just don’t get me. 

There must be something wrong with me because I never get asked out on a second date. 

Sound familiar? 

Here are some DATING SKILLS that will help you to not just get asked out on a date with one man, but to be asked out on multiple dates with multiple men. 

First, there are two things that are extremely important to remember when dating that will save you a lot of unnecessary heartache. 

1.      Remember that you’re not the only person he’s going out with. He’s most likely talking to other women besides you, going on multiple dates a week, and trying to keep everything straight, just like you are. This is NORMAL. It’s how dating works. He’s getting to know different women (you being one of them) to see who he wants to continue getting to know better and possibly have a relationship with.

So how do you handle this? 

2.      You date more than one man at a time, too! When you’ve got multiple dates on your calendar and you’re having conversations with more than one man at a time, it saves you from being so hyper-aware of what each of them are doing and helps you not get attached to someone too soon. 

Want to stop picking up your phone anxiously every time it buzzes and feeling the constant disappointment that it’s not him? Date this way. This is the game-changer. We promise you he’s dating this way, so enjoy the dating experience more by doing this, too!

The next best way to make yourself irresistible to a man and ensure that you get asked on that 2nd date is to be CONFIDENT. 

When you exude confidence, you don’t pursue, you aren’t overly complimentary, and you don’t put pressure on a man to choose you. When you’re confident, you don’t give into the fears that he’s not thinking about you or rationalize doing things (like texting him first, sending a funny meme or a great article) to get on his radar. 

When you’re confident, you wait to hear from him, giving yourself the gift of being pursued. You are PRESENT in the conversation when you’re on the date, being in the moment and not in your head about what you should say and do. You show up as interested AND interesting because you know how to balance talking about yourself while also showing interest in him. 

When you’re confident, you smile, compliment him, and let him know that you’re having a good time. You don’t complain about him or about your life, you show positivity, lightness and fun. This is what makes you irresistible to a man. 

So, if you aren’t currently feeling confident about yourself in dating how do you get there? 

BELIEVE IT AND BE IT. 

BE confident. Be present on the date and remind yourself that you’re simply getting to know someone. Take the pressure off of yourself and him. Relax and have fun getting to know another human being. 

And smile. 🙂 Smiling transforms nervous energy to excited energy! So, if at any moment you aren’t sure what to say or you feel things are getting awkward, just smile and take a sip of your water, and wait for him to make the next move. 

Dating is meant to be fun! And who wouldn’t want to go out on a second date with a woman who is confident, light, and fun?

If you’d like to learn even more dating skills, or you know someone who would, join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening NEXT weekend – September 13th and 14th – in Miami, FL. We’ll be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, HeartWork that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you’re currently experiencing.  And, by the way, we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Learn More Here

Dating really can be fun! You just need to have the right skillset and know how to start BEING that Irresistible Woman that a man asks out again and again!

 

Not local and want a real shift in your experience of dating? Schedule time to speak with our team and get ready to have the love you want!

Book a Love Breakthrough Session here!

 

 

 

 

 

Truth: High-Quality Men Really DO Exist!

Truth: High-Quality Men Really DO Exist!

by | Jul 26, 2019 | Uncategorized

by Michelle Roza

“If there are all these great guys out there, WHERE THE HECK ARE THEY?” 

This is a question we hear all the time….

Case in point, we have a client who just got engaged, and when she first came to us she said the exact same thing, “Where are all the high-quality men and how can I find them? Is it too much to ask to just find a GOOD man?”

You may think that good men don’t exist because you can’t seem to find someone who is actually interested in having a long-term relationship. Or maybe you’ve even considered moving to another city because good men don’t live in yours.

Well guess what?

Don’t pack your bags just yet, because it’s not about any of that.

It’s actually about who you are, who you’re attracting, and what you want to experience in a relationship.

If you’re feeling resigned, cynical, or frustrated about dating, it’s only because you’re not having a good experience and not getting the results you desire, NOT because what you want doesn’t exist.  

Think about it…

If you were meeting a lot of great, commitment-minded men who were going out of their way to make you smile… would you be feeling this cynical about dating?

NO! You’d be excited, enthusiastic, and looking forward to your next date!

So… how do you start attracting really great men? 

  1. Start paying attention to the INSIDE factors, because that’s what actually matters. 

What are the inside factors? 

Your beliefs. What do you believe about men? About love? About relationships?

Here’s the thing… Your brain is always looking for evidence that it is right. So, here’s the fact of the matter: If you believe that all men are liars, and you walk into a room full of men, you WILL either attract or be attracted to the ONE man in the room who’s dishonest, because your brain is always searching for that evidence.

So, if you want to start experiencing something different, then you’ve got to change your beliefs. 

How do I do this? 

Look for the patterns that are showing up in your dating and relationships. Close your eyes and take a close look at the last three or four dating experiences or relationships you’ve had and take an honest inventory of what showed up. I promise you, you’ll start to see patterns, and in those patterns is where your beliefs will reveal themselves.

I was in a 12-year marriage – it wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it ended in divorce. My ex-husband was constantly in and out of work, so I was working 3 jobs to help ends meet.  That left me feeling exhausted, frustrated, and resentful.

After that, I had a HUGE belief around men being unreliable and relationships with men being insecure and unstable.

So, guess what kept showing up in my dating life? Men who were insecure and unstable. They were either out of work or workaholics, alcoholics or addicted to some kind of drug, or men who were not available (in or just getting out of a relationship) and not interested in having a committed relationship.

I was attracting broken men because I felt that there was something inside of me that was broken, and I was looking for people that were experiencing the same thing.

When I started doing the HeartWork and began recognizing my own patterns and what I was creating because of them, things started to shift.

That’s why the next step is…

  1. Be COMMITTED to doing the HeartWork.

Stop waiting to feel “ready” or “motivated” to do your HeartWork.

If you knew that on the other side of the HeartWork was the man of your dreams, would you need to motivate yourself to do the HeartWork? 

I guarantee the answer is “No!”

We only have to motivate ourselves to the things that we are resisting. So… if you’re finding yourself thinking that you need to motivate yourself to date…what are you resisting?

Be honest with yourself.

You may believe it’s going to be hard, that it won’t work, that you don’t know how…. just to name a possible few! That’s because humans have trained ourselves and our brains for comfort, and we resist anything that perceive as hard, uncomfortable or confusing.

But take a good honest look at yourself and your current feelings about love and dating, because in the answer to the question of what you are resisting is a fear that you haven’t uncovered yet. And it’s this fear that is perpetuating the patterns you uncovered in the exercise above.

Once I got – I mean, REALLY got – that I was a high-quality woman, that I mattered, and felt comfortable being myself, I didn’t need to motivate myself to date, I was MOVED and inspired to date.

I was passionate about attracting the man of my dreams! I believed 100% that it was possible and ended up attracting multiple GOOD men that I got to CHOOSE from.

And that’s how it will happen for you, too.

Intention is Everything. The good, high-quality men out there are looking for a vibrational match. They are looking for a woman who is alluring and confident, and vivacious.

So, BE that!

And here’s an extra super-ninja tip: Start to NOTICE the good men out there and the good that men are doing in the world.

When you start paying attention and appreciating the good you see in men, you’ll start seeing it all around you. And when this starts to happen to you, you’ll know you are soooo close to attracting your partner.

Why not get there now?

Join us for our 2-day event, “Extraordinary Love NOW!”, which is happening this weekend – July 27th and 28th – in Miami Lakes, FL. We will be teaching 2 FULL DAYS of deep, heart work that WILL transform the way you feel about dating AND the RESULTS that you are experiencing.  And we’re doing it ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Learn More Here

Here’s another gift:

My daily prayer is, “If there’s something standing in my way, Lord, please let me see it so I can deal with it.”

We have the same prayer for you.

 

 

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

3 of the Biggest Dating Traps You Keep Falling Into

by | Nov 11, 2018 | Coaching, Dating, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

I know it’s frustrating…

You put yourself out there, engage in back-and-forth texting until he finally asks you out on a date.

You go out and have an amazing time.

You don’t want to get your hopes up (again), but you think he has a lot of potential.

He asks you out on another date… and then another.

Now you’re feeling pretty sure that he maybe, might be the one…

You stop going on line.

You start reserving space in your weekend (just in case)

You don’t accept dates from other men (Why? You’re already planning your fifth date!)

Then…

Crickets.

And, after that… that familiar feeling of hurt and frustration.

I get it.

It’s easy to get excited when you meet a nice guy who is a gentleman, is making time to see you, calls between dates, and is fun to be with.

And it’s tempting to want to save space in your calendar, just in case he asks you out.

The problem is that, if you’re like most women, you make 3 big mistakes when you do this.

The first mistake is what we call “falling into a ‘pseudo-relationship.”

Because, as a woman, you naturally want to bond and connect with someone emotionally and physically, it’s natural for you to think you’re in a relationship, even if you’re not.

Trust me, when you’re in a relationship, you’ll know. You won’t have to wonder. The man will come out and tell you that he doesn’t want to see anyone else and that he’d like you to do the same.

Until a man says that, go by this motto: It’s not a relationship until it is.

The second mistake is becoming prematurely attached.

When you aren’t seeing anyone else, it’s natural to have the feelings for the one person you are seeing grow.
Even if you don’t know him very well, and even if you’re not really sure if you really like him, the fact that you are spending so much time together — the proximity, the amount of time and attention you are giving him — will have you become prematurely attached to him.

This has you waiting for his call, texting or calling him when you don’t hear from him, start to get nervous when Wednesday comes around and he hasn’t asked you out for the weekend yet… Sound familiar.

This is such a trap, and what happens is that you fall into making the third mistake.

The third mistake is getting upset when he doesn’t call or ask you out.

Remember the motto I mentioned above? It’s not a relationships until it is.

Until you are in a relationship with a man, he does not have to call or text you every day.

He doesn’t have to ask you out.

And (and this is the one that can cause the most upset), he can call, text, go out, and sleep with anyone he pleases.

You’re NOT in a relationship.

He doesn’t have to do any of those things, and it’s quite possible he is talking to and going out with several women.

Which is why we recommend you do the same!

Now, we’re not saying kiss or sleep with several men.

You can do that, if you choose (although I don’t recommend that).

What I am saying is that you can talk to, go out with, and have fun getting to know different men.

The benefit?

  • You get to meet and have a great time getting to know several nice men at the same time.
  • You avoid falling into a pseudo-relationship.
  • You prevent getting too emotionally attached to someone you really don’t know and aren’t in a committed relationship with.
  • And you avoid getting upset, feeling resentful, or putting any unrealistic expectations on a man who is not your boyfriend.

Which also means you avoid a lot of unnecessary heartache.

As much as I know you want to be in a relationship, trust me when I tell you that not attaching yourself or mistaking “dating” for a relationship is going to make dating a lot less frustrating and a lot more fun for you!

If you have any questions regarding how to be more successful in dating so that is a lot more exciting, fulfilling, and FUN, simply tell me your #1 question or challenge when it comes to dating.

I promise to reply and give you some straight coaching about how to avoid some of the traps of dating so that you can have more success in attracting the love you want!

 

 

 

 

 

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

You Need to Let Go of THIS to Have the Love You Want!

by | Sep 8, 2018 | Dating, heartache, Love, Marriage, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz Is your life telling you something? If you want to know, just look at your past and your present. The lessons we most need tend to repeat themselves until they are finally learned! And, if you want to know where the patterns of your life begin, just notice your thoughts. The average human being has between 12,000 and 60,000 each day! Unfortunately, 80% of those thoughts are negative and 95% of them are the same exact thoughts you had the day before (and sometimes decades before!). So, if 80% of your thoughts about dating, love, relationships, or your partner are negative, then is it any wonder why you don’t have the kind of loving relationship you desire? Now, before you start beating yourself up (or deleting this email) because of that last sentence, hear me out. I know you’re not intentionally choosing to block love from your life. A lot of these pervasive and repetitive thoughts are happening subconsciously. Think about how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. Although you know that eating an entire bag of chips while watching TV or procrastinating working on a big project, or not organizing your receipts before tax season are all things that will eventually have a negative consequence, you still eat the chips, spend hours on social media, and telling yourself that you’ll organize those receipts tomorrow. Or, even though you know that sleeping with a guy too soon rarely turns into a solid, committed relationship and that you’re going to feel hurt, used, and disappointed (again) if you sleep with him, you tell yourself that “This time might be different.” You put aside your boundaries and values for a few moments of pleasure, even thought you know things are probably going to turn out the same way again. Another example is holding onto a relationship you know is not going anywhere or that is simply not right for you.  Even all the signs are pointing to “This is not it,” you keep holding on, hoping things will change, even though you know in your heart of hearts that it won’t. Why do you do that? Because the human brain is a creature of habit and you will hold on to what you know – what’s familiar – even though you know it’s stopping you from having the kind of loving relationship and life you really want. So, the negative consequences reinforce the negative thought patterns, until you start relating to them as “the truth, and eventually find yourself giving up on your dreams.   So, how do you break this vicious cycle? You learn how to transform your mind so that you can create new results. You learn how to completely break apart those thought patterns and replace them with new ones – but not simply through “positive thinking” or “positive self-talk.” You learn how to truly go into your subconscious and uproot the thoughts that have been creating real barriers to you attracting and having the love you want. Listen to your life.  It’s telling you something. It has been for a while now. Stop ignoring the signs that what you’ve been doing simply isn’t working for you. You can choose to continue repeating the same thoughts and actions and creating the same results. If you do, there’s a huge chance you’ll regret it and then wonder why things simply never worked out for you. Or you can choose to break through and break free from anything that’s standing between you and having the love you want. It’s only in letting go of the past that you can create space in your mind, life, and heart to welcome in new and extraordinary love. As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” You can have the love you want. You simply have to let go of what hasn’t worked so that you can have what your heart most desires. Are you ready to let go of what isn’t working so that you can have the love you want? If so, click below and schedule time to talk with one of us. We will help you identify what your major Love Barriers have been and give you a step-by-step plan for letting them go so that you can have the love you want! Click to talk with one of us!