Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

Not Feeling Attracted To Anyone??

by | Nov 22, 2019 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, HDI Blog, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you have a relationship from the past that you haven’t fully let go of? 

Is there someone that is still holding a piece of your heart?  

Maybe it wasn’t even a recent break-up, maybe it’s been two years, three years or even ten years ago, and it’s still blocking you from moving forward in love. 

If this is you, we hear you! It can be so frustrating when you want to run freely forward without anything from the past holding you back,  but just seem to be stuck. 

If this is you, we know that you want to get unstuck (otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this right now), but you just don’t know how. 

The first step in letting someone from the past go is understanding how holding onto that person and relationship is impacting you now, in the present. Whenever there’s something from the past that’s still in your space, it won’t  allow you to move forward. 

And how else is it impacting you?

To uncover the impact the past is still having on you, first look at your results. 

What are you currently experiencing? 

Are you going on dates or are you holding back? 

If you are going on dates, are you enjoying the process? 

Look at your last couple of dates. Are there patterns that are presenting themselves? 

Is there something wrong with every single person you  go  out with? 

Are you not attracted to anyone? 

Do you feel disconnected, and, immediately during or after every date,feel like he’s definitely not the one?

No,  you’re not going to be attracted to or want to date  every single person you meet. It’s natural to not be interested in every single man you go on a date with. But, if it seems you aren’t feeling it for anyone then  you may be holding onto someone from the past.

Recently a client expressed frustration with this very thing. She said that while she’s dating, she finds herself comparing every single guy  to her ex. She said he was the best boyfriend and that it was the best relationship she’d ever had. I lovingly pointed out to her that it couldn’t have been “the best,” because they’re not together anymore, and that there was a reason for that. There’s a reason that it didn’t work out, and as long as she keeps romanticizing this past relationship and putting that man on a pedestal, she will never have space for the right man — the one who really will be the best!

Sound familiar? 

If you find yourself having this experience, it’s time to get curious. 

Ask yourself, 

What’s really going on here? 

Why am I not feeling connection? 

Why am I never attracted to anyone? 

What’s really holding me back?

Get curious  

You will start to discover your blind spots by saying, “I wonder…” 

“I wonder if I’m still holding onto the past?” 

“I wonder why I can’t let go?” 

“I wonder what that person represents for me?” 

“I wonder if I’m afraid to move on?”

When it comes to breakups, it  would be weird if you didn’t miss someone that you once spent time with, and it’s normal to take time to grieve. However, sometimes we think that the longer we grieve or the more time we stay stuck, the more validation we give to the relationship. But, how much more time do you want to waste staying safe and alone? 

It’s okay to love someone and let them go.

Letting someone go does not invalidate the love you shared with him, the memories you created together, who he is  as a person, or the lessons the relationship taught you.  

And, just because you shared an incredible love once, doesn’t mean you can never find it (or something even MORE incredible) again.

When I lost my first husband and then found Ric, I realized that there’s more than just one “The One.” There are multiple people on this planet that can make you happy and love you forever! 

But only if you are open to it. 

Only if you are willing to do the HeartWork to bring the past to a close, release it from your mind AND your heart, and open the door to welcome the new love that’s already waiting for you. 

I promise you, there’s a love out there that’s even bigger and better than that person from the past. Someone even bigger and better than you can even imagine. And someone who wants to spend his life with you!

Because of this, Michelle and I would love for you to join us for our 2020 Love Vision Event, happening in just a few weeks!

Click here to say good-bye to the past and create a new and lasting love!

At this event, we’ll be helping you to complete 2019 and step powerfully into 2020 with a crystal-clear vision for love that your heart deeply desires.

We’ll show you the exact steps and tools you’ll need to create and experience that love  right now! 

The process we’ll be taking you through is hands-on, experiential, and transformative. 

We’re going to help you create your Love  Vision, teach you HOW to actually live into it so you can create it in real life in 2020! 

The absolute truth is that in order to open up to a new chapter, you have to complete the past. You take what worked and what didn’t work about that past relationship, release your attachment to the person, take whatever serves you into the future, and let go of everything else.  

It’s time for you to let go of the past and open up to the love that is already waiting for you.

Click here to create the love you want in 2020!

Are You Ready To Get Over It And Move On?

Are You Ready To Get Over It And Move On?

by | Nov 8, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, heartache, Love, Marriage, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Self-Love, Success

by Gladys Diaz 

Is your past keeping you from having the future you desire? 

Are you unable to get over an ex, no matter what you do? 

Are you so afraid of getting your heart broken like you did last time, that you’re stopping yourself from being available? 

Are you scared that you’ll choose the wrong man yet AGAIN and end up brokenhearted and? 

Do you see how these are all fears that are being triggered by something you experienced in the past?  

If you don’t overcome your past, your past will be present in your present and impact your future.  Which is a shame, because your past is not a predictor, it’s an informer. 

What does that mean? 

It means that, just because you chose an abusive man in the past, doesn’t mean you will do it again. 

It means that just because your last boyfriend cheated on you and the relationship ended in massive heartache for you, doesn’t mean the next man will do this, too. 

Your past experiences don’t determine what you will continue to experience IF you do the HeartWork to replace the fears that created them. 

We all have fears. We are all humans walking around afraid of what someone else might do to us, worrying we may mess up, or that something might go wrong. Fear is part of the human condition. We can’t eliminate it, but we can learn to overpower it. 

The trick is learning how to break through any patterns of fear and anxiety that are stopping you from living the life and creating the future you desire.   

The crazy thing about fear is that the energy of fear is magnetic. When you are living in a space of fear around anything, you are energetically and subconsciously attracting that to you. This means that until you do the work to release the fear, you WILL continue to experience it. 

So how do you release fear? 

You can learn to release fear by going through our “In-the-Moment Fear Exercise. Trust us, making this exercise a practice you do all the time will change your life. 

Moment of Fear Exercise

1. Recognize what got triggered inside of you.

Realize this:  When you experience a fear, it isn’t  you that got t triggered, something inside of you got triggered —  a past experience, a fear, an anxiety that’s been developed over time. When that thing gets triggered, you can do 1 of 2 things. 

You can…  

a) Go into your automatic response of either blowing up or shutting down (it’s called fight or flight.  We’re sure you’ve heard of it.) 

OR

b) STOP and recognize that something has been triggered and then move on to step 2 in the exercise. 

Note: This acknowledgement happens in a split-second, so it does take some practice to gain the awareness to recognize the trigger in the moment.

2. Ask yourself: What just happened?

It’s important that you answer this question with only the facts about what actually happened, with no interpretation or analysis of the event(s) that just took place. It usually can be answered with as few as 3-10 words.  Anything longer is a clue that you making what happened mean something.

3. Ask yourself: What did I make it mean?

What did you decide it meant when that guy you just went out with didn’t call the next day? 

What did you make it mean when you saw your date going to the bathroom with his phone? 

Did you create the idea that because he didn’t call you it means you’re not dateable? 

Did you decide that because your date took his phone into the bathroom it meant he was texting another girl? 

The majority of the time, whatever is upsetting you, robbing you of your peace, and/or causing you fear is not what actually happened.  What’s upsetting you is whatever you made what mean — about him, you, them, it… everything!

4. Ask yourself: Is that what really happened?

Because our brain cannot tell the difference between what is actually happening and what we’re afraid might or might not be happening, this is the life-altering part of this exercise. 

When you take what you made an experience mean and compare it to what actually happened, you start to see reality and the fear disappears.  

 

Michelle was talking to a client the other day, and walking her through this exercise. A man had asked her what was wrong with her that she is in her 40’s and has never been in a long-term relationship. She made that experience mean that she is a failure in everything in her life, and that it’s never going to work for her. 

As Michelle walked her through this exercise, she did what we all do: find ways to justify what we’ve made it mean. “But I haven’t been in a relationship, so I am a failure!” “My business isn’t working right now, and it never will!. 

Michelle asked her, “Is ‘never’ happening right now?” “Does because it hasn’t’ worked mean it never will?” 

Of course, the answer to these questions is “no,” and once she saw that, she started laughing and her desire to continue the journey in her business and dating was renewed. 

What about you? 

What do you want to experience in your life? What if you took this exercise and put it into action, practicing it over and over until you shifted what you are currently experiencing? 

Overcoming your fears gives you POWER. It gives you absolute power to create anything you desire, in love and beyond. 

Because we desire this for you, PLUS so much more, we have put together an incredible Pre-Black Friday offer that you can grab now! This Love Power Pack includes tickets to our 2020 Love Vision Live Event happening in December, as well as some swag to help you always remember that you are a fierce, feminine, and fabulous and that you have the power to create your love vision NOW.  

Click here to learn more.

Have this be the last Christmas and New Years you spend alone? Come to this event and you may not even be alone this Christmas! How would that feel? 

Don’t let your fears and your past stop you from creating the future you want, including the loving, passionate, extraordinary relationship your heart desires!

Are You Ready To Trust?

Are You Ready To Trust?

by | Oct 5, 2019 | Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, Intimacy, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Romance

by Gladys Diaz 

Do you feel like your intuition is broken? 

Do you feel like you don’t know what’s best, or how to make the right decisions? 

Do you feel like you can’t trust men? Your friends? Yourself?

That last one’s important, because… if you can’t trust yourself, how are you ever going to be able to trust anyone else? 

The other day I was talking to a woman, and, as we were talking, the issue of trust just kept coming up. Finally, I asked, “How many times have you experienced someone cheating on you?” Her answer shocked me for someone for her age. It was over 5 times! As we continued talking, we discovered that the issue of infidelity was something that had been in her family for years. – Of course she has a hard time trusting men!

As women, our biggest need is to feel safe. How can we feel safe with others when we feel we can’t trust the person we’re with? 

I was there, too. Because of the alcohol abuse, abandonment, and pretending that I engaged in during in my childhood to hide what was going on in our home from everyone around me, I had trouble trusting people. My thought was, “If I can’t trust my own mother, how am I ever going to trust anyone else, or even myself. 

Because of that limiting belief, I wasn’t making the best decisions about who I was allowing into my life, and I kept attracting the wrong guys. I was dating terrible men – mean men who didn’t love, honor, or respect me. 

When I started to do my HeartWork, I forgave my mom, my ex-boyfriends, and myself for the choices we had all made. Not long after that, I met Ric. He was so authentic! His honesty was something I found super-attractive. I took my time getting to know him, saw that I could trust myself to choose a good man, and the rest is history! How grateful I am that I learned how to trust??? Very!

Here’s the thing… if you’re feeling like you don’t trust others – especially men – then y consider that you don’t trust yourself.

So…How do you shift that? 

Here’s the formula that Michelle and I use with our clients to help them know whether it’s their intuition that’s guiding them or if it’s their fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions doing the talking. 

It’s simple. 

If it’s your intuition, then there is evidence of it around you. 

If it’s your fears, limiting beliefs, and superstitions then you’re making up the evidence.

What if you can’t tell the difference?

Give yourself some space. Detach from the situation a little bit so that you can see what’s actually happening and what’s not happening.

Take a look and see if maybe you’re making something up that’s not actually happening in reality?

Is a memory being triggered?

Are you choosing to ignore something that is happening?

Are you crossing and not honoring your own boundaries for someone else? 

When you take a step back and look at it with new eyes, I promise you you’ll be able to hear what your intuition is telling you!

And then you get to trust it and yourself to make the choice that’s right for you! 

If you’re having a lot of trouble trusting others and don’t know where to start, start by forgiving yourself for the choices you’ve made in the past and give yourself permission to move on! Because the time is now. 

There are 88 days left in 2019.

Eighty-eight! 

Are you living the Love Resolution you made at the beginning of the year?

Are you where you want to be on December 31st, or is there a gap? 

If you’re not there yet, the good news is that THERE ARE STILL 88 days to create a real shift!

We have a client who just got a promise ring from her man, and another that is getting married next week! There is still time for YOU to create the love of your dreams in 2019. 

If you’re not sure where to start, click here to schedule a complimentary call with us about The Ready to Love Again Program, a 12-month coaching program for single women who want to attract the right man and create the relationship of their dreams (enrollment closes October 8th, so don’t wait!):

Trust yourself and book a Love Breakthrough Session here! 

Just a quick note: the only way to reserve a spot in the program is to chat with us, so that together, we can determine whether it’s a good fit for you, right now.

You get to create that love for yourself and what better time than right now?

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

What “Dying” and “Letting Go” Have to Do with Love

by | Mar 30, 2018 | breakups, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Love, Ready to Love Again, Relationship, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

Today, for those of us who are Christians, is Good Friday.

As a young girl, I always wondered why it was called “Good” Friday, when it marked such a sad day.  I honestly could not see how remembering a brutal death of someone we loved and followed was supposed to be something “good.”

It wasn’t until I got older that I realized that, without the death of Jesus, there would not and could not have been a resurrection.

Resurrection can only come after death.

Much like healing can only come after injury or illness…

… rebuilding can only come after destruction…

… renewed hope can only come after a period of doubt or hopelessness.

And, many times, true love comes after heartache.

I know that was the truth for me, for Michelle, and for so many of the women who we have helped around the world to find the love they desire and deserve.

It’s also what’s true if you want to create a true breakthrough and transformation in your love life.

See, there is a letting go — a “dying,” of sorts — that has to happen if you are going to truly open your heart to a new and extraordinary kind of love.

You have to be willing to let go of the past, of your fears and your heartache.  

You need to let go of your limiting beliefs and doubts, your judgments and expectations in order to create something completely new and different from what you have had and experienced in the past.

So, here’s my question to you:

What are you willing to let go of, once and for all, so that you can begin to welcome in the love that is waiting for you on the other side of your past?

What fear, doubt, belief or pattern are you ready to release so that new and extraordinary love can find its way to you?

What resentment, regret, or disempowering story are you finally willing to let go of so that you can create a new story — one that has you living the life and love your heart desires?

I know that letting go can feel scary, but it’s not quite so frightening when you don’t have to figure out how to do it on your own.  Remember, we’re here for you!

Remember: The past has no power over you, except for the power you grant it in the present.  Sometimes, letting go of just one fear or limiting belief can open the floodgates to letting new love in!
So let us know, what is one thing you are committed of letting go of so that you can have the love and happiness you desire and deserve?
How to Work Through “Deep-Tissue Issues” in Your Love Life

How to Work Through “Deep-Tissue Issues” in Your Love Life

by | Aug 23, 2016 | breakups, Coaching, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, heartache, Infidelity, Intimacy, Loss of a Spouse, Love, Marriage, Money Issues, Ready to Love Again, Relationship Advice, Self-Love

by Gladys Diaz

Yesterday was the first day of school for my kids, and I took the opportunity to pamper myself and get a deep-tissue Swedish massage, courtesy of my wonderful hubby!

As I was lying on the table, enjoying the soft meditation music, the candles, and looking forward to a nice, relaxing massage, all of a sudden, all I could feel was PAIN! And lots of it!

I actually found myself holding my breath a few times because of the pain I could feel under the masseuse’s expert hands!

At one point, I thought I would tell her to stop, and then I noticed something…

I began to notice how my muscles were responding to her touch.

I became aware of how, while I wasn’t stressed out or feeling pain when I first laid down on the table, there were parts of my body that were obviously story pain and stress, based on the “knots” she was finding and deeply massaging.

And, I noticed how she would dig really deep into a muscle, work there for a while, go somewhere else, and then come back to it and work on it some more.

That’s when I thought of you! (Yes, even while getting a massage, you are on my mind! Can’t help it!)

Here’s why:

I started thinking about how, sometimes, we have some “deep-tissue” pain stored in our memories, our hearts, and our bodies that are related to the past.

Maybe it has to do with a relationship that ended painfully.

Maybe you’re in a relationship right now, where you’re feeling some pain.

Or perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your life and you keep wondering, “I’ve prayed, meditated, read all these books, watched videos, attended courses, and worked with different coaches! When am I finally going to break through this?”

I get it! I’ve been there myself! And, here’s the deal:

Sometimes, you just need to go back and dig a little deeper to truly release the pain so that you can move forward with joy, peace, and the love you desire and deserve!

It’s during those times of release that you are able to put the past back in the past where it belongs so that you can move toward the present and future that are waiting for you!

Well, I was so inspired by all of the thoughts and insights I had during that massage, that, when I finished, I went to Facebook and shot a live video (Well, two, actually, because I lost connection during the first one, but I just had to share this with you!)

 

I know it can be tempting to feel like the “deep-tissue” inner work you’ve done isn’t working, but… what if…?

What if you’re just inches away from your next breakthrough?

What if you can dig a little deeper and finally have the happiness and love you want?

What would that make possible for you?

Check out the video and let me know what opens up for you!

Don’t forget to comment below!  We love hearing from you!

 

What to Do When You Say the Wrong Thing to Your Partner

by | Aug 5, 2016 | Communication, Dating, Forgiveness, Heart's Desire International, Love, Marriage, Relationship Advice

by Gladys Diaz

I’ll admit it.  Today’s video took a little bit of courage to make, because I’m sharing something I’m not very proud of that happened between my husband and me.

The moment I said it, I regretted it!

I felt it was important to share it, however, because any relationship, no matter how good it is, has it’s ups and downs.
The key is knowing what to do when you slip!

So, as uncomfortable as this was to share, if it helps you to create more love and intimacy in your relationship – even after an argument – it’s worth it!

 

 

Remember: While our relationships aren’t “perfect,” they can still be great!

And, by the way, I’d love to hear from YOU!

If you have a question about love and communication that you’d like answered, send me an email (gladys@heartsdesireintl.com) or leave me a comment below, and I’ll make sure I personally respond to you!